So, I'm a guy in my early 20's, I have never had a girlfriend or anything more serious than a few dates. I have exclusively been interested in big girls since I was 12-13, thus never looked twice at a thinner girl, nor slept with a girl that isn't at least considered overweight as I don't really find anything sexually attractive about a thin girl.
However at the same time, I haven't experienced any sort of real chemistry between me and any of the girls I've dated. Only interest I've had is that I've found them physically attractive. I have been in no hurry to find a girlfriend so I haven't rushed the dating process, but at the same time considering the amount of girls I have talked with I'd think that I'd sooner or later find someone I could imagine living the rest of my life with, but it never happened.
Well, until I met this this girl at work that I have gotten the biggest crush on. Simply thinking about her is enough to fill me with such joy I haven't felt since I was a child. I honestly wasn't even aware that I could have feelings like this, and I could day dream all day about what we could experience together and all of that, you know the drill. But the catch here is that she is as far from being fat as you'll get, without doubt one of the girls I know that's in the best shape. Certainly one of the girls I know that's in the best shape, no doubt she'd crush me in every sort of physical exercise. In addition, our work has relatively high physical requirements so the chance of me fattening her up is very low too. In all honestly I can't even really say I find her body attractive, it's just everything else personality wise and she also has a gorgeous face.
So in empty moments like this where I have time to think, I start to wonder why it has taken me this long time to get feelings like this. Have I been too busy to chase a girl with the perfect body that I haven't considered finding one I actually would like to have something serious with? Is it some deep down insecurity where I don't want to have a relationship with a big girl? Wouldn't really make sense since I guess most of my close friends already have figured out I like 'em big, but at the same time this is the girl I want to show off to friends and family, and I guess there is some primal urge about wanting to be with someone that is considered conventionally attractive, I have showed pictures of her to some friends and all thought the same about her. Or is it just that I'm extremely picky and the girl that I'm amazed by just happens to be thin? Of course I'm thinking this way too far but I still feel this is an interesting subject to discuss.
Anyone else have had a similar experience? That never really seemed to find a big girl they actually want to pursue having a relationship.