I've been thinking about how to explore fat fetishism and feedism in a way that's ethical and respectful. The taboo around these kinks, more than most others even, makes it hard to discuss openly, but I recently shared my interests with someone I'm dating, and it got me wondering: how do we act on these desires without compromising our values or the well-being of our partners too much?

And let's not stick to just finding someone who consents, and then live as two recluses, away from society, familiy and friends.Let's have a discussion what the best way is to truely integrate these fantasies into a healthy, balanced life where relationships and health aren't negatively impacted.

The ability to get a good answer to this, will impact how the kink is seen by the public at large.

TL;DR: How do we ethically balance exploring fat fetishism with living a fulfilling, healthy life?

Personally, I think the my 600 lbs life pictures in the video don't help, but this video by fantasy feeder has some very good points:

https://youtu.be/FBRrgBPMAB4?si=r0HGai1tNYRB21yg

You have to be willing to accept that it’s objectively unhealthy and there’s no way around that. Even if someone is just 50lbs overweight, they will be less healthy than if they weren’t. For this reason I think there are ethical hang ups with feederism, but I think it’s less of an issue if you are with someone who was already fat when you met— in this case you aren’t actively forcing someone to lower their standard of living, they did it on their own free will.

>>53568 (OP)
Communicate boundaries and respect them and also you know find a balance that works for you.

>>53568 (OP)
Easy. You don’t. You have to accept this.
This fetish is inherently unethical and anyone who refutes this is either delusional or coping.

this website is not the place to have a nuanced discussion like this, inevitably everyone here is a self loathing loser who makes no effort to reconcile their kink with the humanity of a consenting fat person.

see >>53592 and >>53576
how can you people live with yourselves if you genuinely think this fetish is actively killing people and there's no way to participate in it ethically? you just accept it and continue jerking it without challenging mainstream narratives at all? holy shit......

Personally. I don’t think anyone in the west is ethical in their lives or morally consistent. How do you buy a diamond or a bitcoin without appreciating the human bodies sacrifices to mine it?

White skinny Becky’s lives on stolen land, gathering interest on generational wealth based on slavery, Jim Crow and globalized colonialism and imperialistic capitalism. And that’s just the human rights debts they don’t pay, American upper middle class lifestyles are 100% destroying the environment and realistically there’s no way to stop that as it’s imported to the masses as a desperate attempt at class signaling through conspicuous consumption.

>>53593
>>everyone here is a self loathing loser
does this include you?

Lol definitely a little self-loathing going on my side. Creating a best way forward is my attempt to solve it.

I think there are definitely some ground rules that can be created to atleast make an effort.

Mind you, this is purely from the perspective that you want to find a healthy balance. If you and your partner are into the unhealthy side that is a different persepctive, let's keep that aside for now.

A few that I would think of:
- Encourage exercise. Being fat has little to do with not being active, and more with eating too much. Encouraging being active should start right from the beginning, while encouraging overeating at the same time
- Getting fat through quantity not quality; try and cook self created delicious meals instead of only buying processed foods.
- Fantasy/role playing might be a good alternative for more unhealthy elements that do still sexually arouse you

What do you think. Got more?

>>53592
> I get what you are saying. I eagree with it mostly. But it's not an all or nothing game imo

>>53593
You can engage in the fetish while also facing the obvious reality that it’s not healthy. As long as both partners are okay with sacrificing health and prioritizing the sexualization of obesity, no harm no foul. What mainstream narrative are we supposed to challenge? Obesity is not good for anyone’s health, but neither are a whole host of other activities people engage in constantly— drinking, smoking, doing drugs, extreme sports, etc. You have to pick your battles.

>>53610 aside from the fact you can stuff occasionally or be 25 lbs overweight and be fine, you have a very binary conception of health.

>>53612
Sure, you can engage in this fetish “in moderation” but I don’t see anyone on this forum doing so. You can jerk off to a girl that’s 25lbs overweight if you want to but the vast majority of users here are regularly getting off to women who are well above 400lbs, applauding the gradual ballooning of models and becoming disappointed when they top out or begin to lose weight. Some people are so invested in extreme weight gain that they get off to women who eventually lose their mobility, preventing them from engaging in any real physical activity. If there is a healthier way to enjoy this fetish, BBWchan is definitely not the place to find it.

A BMI between 40-45 lowers life expectancy by about ~6 years; a BMI of 55 can lower it by as much as 15 years on average. I have a girlfriend with a BMI of 39 and we are both aware that it isn’t the best for her health, but she’s happy and I’m happy so we don’t care. I’m a thin guy but I also have some other health concerns in my life— I’m not implying that anyone of a “normal” weight is inherently healthier. Like I wouldn’t call my girlfriend UNhealthy as she is still able to lead an active lifestyle and hasn’t had any major health issues in her life thus far. However, she is definitely less healthy than if she were 100lbs lighter, and there’s no way you can argue otherwise. There’s no point in indulging this fetish and living in denial of its obvious realities, these are just tradeoffs you must come to accept.

>>53568 (OP)

Here's the ethical compromise I ultimately settled on in my current relationship:

Date a woman that's 300+ pounds. Be upfront about my attraction to fat women (obviously not screaming it on the first date, but as things get sexual just let her know I find her body attractive.) Don't do anything to make her any fatter or enable bad behavior unless she specifically asks for it (ie- don't offer to get her candy or ice cream, but if she specifically asks for it get it.) Be willing to help her lose weight if she's motivated to do that, but if she truly wants to give up on the effort, not just a bit of bitching but actively hates the effort, drop it.

In practice, a woman whose been 300+ pounds for her whole adult life and jealously loves cheese and carbs is very, very unlikely to lose all of the weight and keep it off. There's no reason to enable bad eating habits when they're already there. My SO was fat before I met her and she'd still be fat if I weren't in the picture, so it's completely on her.

Are there flaws with the ethics here? Yes, but it's the best I can do, and I could certainly be doing worse.

>>53630
Here's the ethical compromise I ultimately settled on: letting people make their own fucking choices.
Look, our govt recruits 18 year old boys and sends them to the Middle East get raped to death by Israeli soldiers…as long as it’s consensually done it’s fine (which is why the Jewish rape epidemic is so bad, the Israeli men are raping other men without consent).

I keep my feeder fetish in fantasyland. Otherwise there's too much manipulation to be part of a healthy relationship. Even if she's a willing partner, you're putting it on the table that your attraction to her is conditional. Of course if you're casual fuck buddies, then okay, but with a spouse or serious partner, no.

My personal gray area is that I've bought the videos, OF subs, etc of models who are clearly killing themselves. Not to mention jacked off to women who are dying/dead from overeating. You could say I'm enabling in that way, which I don't feel great about, but I tell myself they're adults who have the right to do with their bodies what they will. Yes, it's a cope.

>>53592
>>53593
If this is what you think, WTF are you doing here? Not saying it's not a defensible position, but that's a pretty high fucking horse if bbw-chan is a regular destination.

>>53594
This, too.

>>53661
THIS^^! This is why I only pirate SSBBW porn! I won't contribute $ to help a fatty commit suicide. Those fetish sadists among you who buy the porn are murderers. The only way to absolve you of your sin is by sharing it here so others don't have to buy it.

>>53661
>I keep my feeder fetish in fantasyland. Otherwise there's too much manipulation to be part of a healthy relationship.
Hard disagree, I have been honest and upfront about it openly for years. Granted I get more out of actually feeding than fattening up but most girls don't mind putting a few pounds if it makes their partner happy.

>>53699
With one partner or several?

>>53732
Just one but as one anon said let people make their own choices.

>>53738
I was just curious — I'm the fantasyland guy. Trust me, I'm all for people making their own choices. Ultimately I think people should do what they want with their bodies and outsiders shouldn't assume manipulation/exploitation/abuse without proof. Those were just my personal feelings.

Anyway as a guy fully in the closet with my fetish, I was wondering how it plays out. Like, if it's something you were upfront with (not first date but not 2 years in, either), or if you introduced elements of it little by little and then started talkung openly about it. Or if you met on a fetish site so it was already on the table.

My partner is pretty open sexually and has accepted and begun to like that I'm an FA, but she's self-conscious about her weight and has food issues. So I really feel it's no-go. Or maybe it would help...? I feel it's too risky either way.

>>53749
This is probably very different from person to person. What I can say is that she was not really suprised, and I just didn't do too much.

I just bit the bullet and when talking about kinks I told her this is something I am into, with a bit of talk about different elements, but did not push it. If she is curious to learn more she'll bring it up herself. I also made it a point to show her that it isn't just the fat part of her that I like.

If you do talk about it with her, let me know how it goes

>>53759
Thanks for the reply. So is she into it? Or just tolerates it? Or does it depend on her mood/situation?

I think my partner would be cool about it at first, not sure if she'd actively participate.

>>53771
Hmm it remains to be seen to be honest.
She was atleast open to it, tried getting me turned on with her belly f.e., but it has not come up a lot so far. (It is quite recent)