big (not particularly) beautiful woman here. early 20s and around 210lbs. i cannot understand why you mfs, especially the ones who say you’re attractive, are into fat women (Ashley Graham and the other models don’t count)


it sucks. sure, some of us carry our weight nicely, and i would never go out of my way to make someone else feel bad about their body - but i don’t find being a fat woman fun. it must be draining having to look after us and all the issues (stigma, the unfunny “jokes” from your friends, health stuff, trauma from childhood bullying) dating us entails. is it because we’re an easy fuck?

it's difficult to explain aesthetic judgements to other people. i just think it looks nice, simple as. all the mental stuff is probably true too but it comes with the territory and you roll with the punches if you like someone, obviously.

>>43319

>>43319

i know people find all kinds of things attractive. i love huge, muscle-bound fictional men who would never give me the time of day if they were real. i just think that, even though there are guys who like BBWs, the potential drawbacks (mostly caused by people outside the relationship, funnily enough) would outweigh the pluses in their mind and put them off us


ALSO being big but not beautiful sucks. i get shit from fat activists for not loving myself. these women are way more privileged than me despite sometimes being larger and they fail to realise they’re conventionally attractive, usually white (or light skinned), have money, in stable enough situations that allow them to look after themselves, have boyfriends who shower them with affection, have endless online admirers, benefit from the shape hierarchy that exists even in fat friendly spaces (a huge hourglass or pear will obviously be way more popular than a smaller banana or apple) etc

>>43325
>>43315 (OP)

> cannot understand why you mfs, especially the ones who say you’re attractive, are into fat women

Simply put, I find fat women attractive, and I always have, though I wasn't aware of it, even though the signs were there. I still remember day it all clicked and I realized I liked big women. Look, I know if I wanted to I could have a skinny gf, but don't find non-BBWs attractive. I don't know what to tell you.

> is it because we’re an easy fuck?

It's only easy, if you let it be easy. Having said that, no. I'm not after an easy fuck. I'm after a stable monogamous marriage.

> but i don’t find being a fat woman fun. it must be draining having to look after us and all the issues (stigma, the unfunny “jokes” from your friends, health stuff, trauma from childhood bullying) dating us entails.

Everyone has issues, that's part of life. But if you love someone, you work together.

Stigma? Could care less what other people think of me.

Jokes from friends? My best friend knows, and doesn't joke about it. There was one guy I did business with that did, keyword "did business". I don't use his services anymore.

Health Stuff? Many couples deal with Health stuff, and it's not necessarily from weight. Again If you care about someone, you stand by them. The idea is, in a relationship, you help people with the things they can't do and vice-versa.

Bullying? I'm sorry you were bullied. If it means anything, I was too. It's not fun.

> usually white (or light skinned),

Why? There are plenty of beautiful darker skinned big women out there. There's even non-dark skin guys that want to date them if that's what you are getting at.

> have endless online admirers,

Don't get hung up on this. Some of those "admirers" are just really thirsty guys who will DO ANYTHING for a woman to notice them. It's not the same as a real flesh and blood relationship. It's fake. Like how porn is fake.

> have boyfriends who shower them with affection

Hey, I know it hurts. I just want a nice BBW wife who I can give/get affection from.

>>43325
Forgot add:

> ALSO being big but not beautiful sucks.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some people might not find you beautiful true, but to other's you just might be a hidden gem.

>>43315 (OP)
Im not sure there's necessarily a "why" for attraction, like sure a guy could list off all the reasons a belly jiggle is what they love all day long (i could) but there isnt really any intrinsic factor that incentivizes liking fats, they just do, or at least in my case I just do.

From what ive seen, some people either ignore those outside influences, like family pressure and judgement from strangers, simply because its their life and they do what they want. Others at least indulge in that and actively enjoy the taboo nature of it all(probably has something to do with teasing and degradation talk). In either case, though, the people in their relationships are at peace with being heavy or happy to be on the path to getting heavier, but not in a 'body positivity' type way, more so just the freedom of being happy with the honesty that comes from accepting that being fat/liking a fatty is a value they hold and something they want to have their life, and in that way, are kind of insulated from those pressures.

intra-personal topics like childhood trauma, body dysphoria, and eating problems in either extreme, are a much more difficult to account for in a relationship/attraction, but i believe that side of a relationship isnt one to bring into the fetish side, rather the mental health side, where partners talk it out and are honest about their attractions and work it out from there. There was an article i read recently where the author(a woman with a history of eating disorder) was introduced to gaining and feeding by her boyfriend and she went with it, not just to please him but because it gave her some peace and a paradigm shift with her relationship with her own body. the article is old though and i havent seen how the relationship panned out long term if at all, so maybe its a bit on the 'wishful thinking' side of things but still, valuing mental health is a hurdle that the right partner will be willing to face with you, and isnt necessarily a turn off in a relationship, rather just another 'relationship thing' that happens, fetish or not

i guess to sum things up, attraction and real-life relationships arent a sum-or-nothing situation where things are strictly positive or negative, In my experience its a matter of honesty with yourself, whether youre someone who likes fat people or a fat person who wants to be liked in that fetish-context way while being in a relationship.

Bonus rant: attraction in a real life relationship way probably has less to do with being a physically 'correct' person, like having an attractive body, rather, just your energy and how you carry yourself. If youre someone can be approachable and friendly and firm enough to establish yourself, or at least aspire to those traits, then youre more attractive in the way that counts then a vast majority of people on this site

also i'd argue the 'body positivity'/blind acceptance crowd has little overlap with the group of people who would call themselves "in the fats community" whether they value fat people as a fetish, value them in feeder relationships or simply enjoy them in bed

also also if you dont mind me asking what you find atttractive in the 'muscular guy' department. Im personally looking to up my game and could use advice

>>43315 (OP)
>why do you guys like fat women
Why not? I know the overused comeback is "why do you like brown hair?" Or "why do you like glasses?" And while I'll admit those aren't exact comparisons, it really is just is a trait a lot of us find appealing for whatever reason.

For me, I have several theories as to why I latched onto this preference (finding softness soothing, the fact that early on in life the girls who liked me were heavier, admiring confident BBWs who are secure in their body image, as a skinny guy who has fought a lot of insecurity in that realm etc.), but at the end of the day, a guy's reason is his reason alone :)

I'm 26, 390lbs and I love it. Men AND women swoon over me and I fell sexy as fuck. I'm in excellent health and I travel all the time. Whats not to love?

>>43315 (OP)
Nice bait bro

>>43341

> I still remember day it all clicked and I realized I liked big women. Look, I know if I wanted to I could have a skinny gf, but don't find non-BBWs attractive. I don't know what to tell you.

what kind of big women? mostly pears and hourglasses, right?

> It's only easy, if you let it be easy. Having said that, no. I'm not after an easy fuck. I'm after a stable monogamous marriage.

a lot of us don’t “let” it be easy, we just get fed promises by people who say they’ll be there and ditch once they get what they’re really after ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

> Everyone has issues, that's part of life. But if you love someone, you work together.

ideally, yes. however, a lot of dudes leave at the slightest inconvenience for me to believe this is a common practice. my last boyfriend said “do you think i’m gonna leave you just because i might not like what i see?” and then ghosted days after my birthday lol

> Stigma? Could care less what other people think of me.

very few people are like you though.

> Jokes from friends? My best friend knows, and doesn't joke about it. There was one guy I did business with that did, keyword "did business". I don't use his services anymore.

good on you for sticking up for big women! but again, very few people are like you.

> Health Stuff? Many couples deal with Health stuff, and it's not necessarily from weight. Again If you care about someone, you stand by them. The idea is, in a relationship, you help people with the things they can't do and vice-versa.

see above.

> Bullying? I'm sorry you were bullied. If it means anything, I was too. It's not fun.

no, it isn’t. but there were other chubby kids at my school and the people who teased me were usually also chubby or otherwise unattractive so i didn’t really care, it was finding online communities dedicated to eating disorders slightly later in my teenage years that did more damage. and extended family members body shaming me.

> Why? There are plenty of beautiful darker skinned big women out there. There's even non-dark skin guys that want to date them if that's what you are getting at.

the keyword here is beautiful :)

oh and what’s seen as stunning and brave or cute and quirky for White women isn’t always seen the same way for Black women - women like Tess Holliday and the Feabie mean girls (who are mostly White and very attractive) are pushed to the forefront of the movement while people look at me and think “of course” and disregard me as just another ratchet

> Don't get hung up on this. Some of those "admirers" are just really thirsty guys who will DO ANYTHING for a woman to notice them. It's not the same as a real flesh and blood relationship. It's fake. Like how porn is fake.

okay but it’s still annoying as fuck when these women preach to me about how amazing being fat is, like, of course you would feel better about yourself if you had hundreds of guys telling you how beautiful and right you are all the time. tired of them acting like we all have the same opportunities and outcome just because we’re fat

also annoying when their fans attack other women to please their queen

> Hey, I know it hurts. I just want a nice BBW wife who I can give/get affection from.

i really do hope you find her. you seem very supportive.


>>43342

> Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some people might not find you beautiful true, but to other's you just might be a hidden gem.

dude. i have jowls and bug eyes. nobody thinks i’m a “hidden gem” lmao not every big woman is beautiful and you know it


>>43343

>> Bonus rant: attraction in a real life relationship way probably has less to do with being a physically 'correct' person, like having an attractive body, rather, just your energy and how you carry yourself. If youre someone can be approachable and friendly and firm enough to establish yourself, or at least aspire to those traits, then youre more attractive in the way that counts then a vast majority of people on this site

the vast majority of people on this site are here for models who look nothing like me. and i don’t blame them, we all have our fantasies, right? but let’s not kid ourselves with the “personality” cope. i see posts from guys here all the time that point out the difference between a BBW and average fat girl (unkempt, apple-shaped, plain looks) and the posters have no desire to date the latter category of woman. which again, is fine, i just want honesty you know?

> also i'd argue the 'body positivity'/blind acceptance crowd has little overlap with the group of people who would call themselves "in the fats community" whether they value fat people as a fetish, value them in feeder relationships or simply enjoy them in bed

meh

> also also if you dont mind me asking what you find atttractive in the 'muscular guy' department. Im personally looking to up my game and could use advice

see the attached pic. i kinda didn’t wanna tell you because i don’t want you to feel like you have to look a certain way. i know my ideals are very unrealistic for the average guy and i don’t want to force anyone into meeting them, and i’ve been with men who don’t look like this.

i just really like beef (and desperately wish Miguel O’Hara was real.)


>>43348

> Why not? I know the overused comeback is "why do you like brown hair?" Or "why do you like glasses?" And while I'll admit those aren't exact comparisons, it really is just is a trait a lot of us find appealing for whatever reason.

but there’s so many different shapes and proportions under the umbrella of fat

> For me, I have several theories as to why I latched onto this preference (finding softness soothing, the fact that early on in life the girls who liked me were heavier, admiring confident BBWs who are secure in their body image, as a skinny guy who has fought a lot of insecurity in that realm etc.), but at the end of the day, a guy's reason is his reason alone :)

this is really wholesome, i’m actually happy you’ve had good experiences with big ladies! :3


>>43354

> I'm 26, 390lbs and I love it. Men AND women swoon over me and I fell sexy as fuck. I'm in excellent health and I travel all the time. Whats not to love?

could i ask what you do for a living? is travelling part of your work? sounds like you’re one of those BBWs everyone seems to love.


>>43370

> Nice bait bro

well… i am quite the master baiter

>>43315 (OP)
Speaking as another autist, my reasons for enjoying fat women might be a bit different to other people. Yes there's the whole thing with potential baggage and stuff but pretty much everyone has issues in some form (atleast from my experience).

One of the draws to fat women to me is the softness. I love a good cuddle and it doesn't get much better than a chubby gal who is pretty much made of pillows. I also find the jiggle super hot and there's other aspects too. Like my GF will hear someone say something about a portion of food being too big and she will look at it and go "really? that's a snack."

As others have said, it's a bit hard to put into words, but I hope that helped.

>>43373

> what kind of big women? mostly pears and hourglasses, right?

Mostly pears yes, but there have been some Apple shapes that I've really liked too.

> a lot of us don’t “let” it be easy, we just get fed promises by people who say they’ll be there and ditch once they get what they’re really after ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Okay, fair. Personally, I wouldn't jump into sex at the start of relationship, and I wouldn't push her into it. I don't see the point in a non-committal relationship.

> and then ghosted days after my birthday lol

Ouch I'm so sorry this happened. I'd imagine that makes you less trusting now, and I imagine it makes it harder to open up to new potential partners.

> and extended family members body shaming me.

Screw em. That's what I say.

> women like Tess Holliday and the Feabie mean girls (who are mostly White and very attractive) are pushed to the forefront of the movement while people look at me and think “of course” and disregard me as just another ratchet

Tess Holliday is disgusting. She looks like dumpster that's on fire in a rundown neighbourhood. I legit don't know anyone who finds her attractive. She also has one of the worst personalities of any well know BBW out there. I don't find her quirky or cute, I find her childish and gross.

I can't comment on the Feabie mean girls as I don't use Feabie.

> Black

So you are a black woman? That doesn't mean you aren't beautiful. I can think of a few black BBWs off the top of my head that I have found very attractive over the years. A woman I was previously interested in was half black her self (Jamaican).

> of course you would feel better about yourself if you had hundreds of guys telling you how beautiful and right you are all the time. tired of them acting like we all have the same opportunities and outcome just because we’re fat

I guarantee you the women who say this aren't convinced of it. If they were happy, why do they need to constantly validate themselves with thirsty losers online?

You are better than this. You want a real relationship, not cheap highs from idiots going "yas bb ur so hot queen!". You are far ahead of these women.

> also annoying when their fans attack other women to please their queen

Ugh. Queen Bee syndrome with their thirsty desperate army of losers. Those guys are nothing special, believe me. I've read enough posts here to know there are some very pathetic "men" out there.

> lmao not every big woman is beautiful and you know it

That's fair.

> dude. i have jowls and bug eyes. nobody thinks i’m a “hidden gem”

You have a thyroid condition? But I mean if these things bother you, you can always get surgery for things like this, and I'm sure many young women have had it done to fix problems outside of their control. You didn't choose it, stuff happens.

> i really do hope you find her. you seem very supportive.

It was my pleasure.

>>43374
Honestly hit the nail on the head for me too

>>43315 (OP)
>Is it because we're an easy fuck?
Your self esteem has nothing to do with it. Although there's sociopaths and predators that can easily socially engineer a fat girl with zero self worth, most of the time that's too much effort for a rookie. Besides, unless you're a 10/10 gigachad, there's always the the chance a girl can 180 and call in the rape and grooming charges whenever it pleases her, even if she's ugly and nobody believes it.

You want to see where the desperate men are? Take a look at tranny chasers.
>mentally ill and/or have self esteem issues, ensuring their desperation is reciprocated
>grooming standards are much higher than regular men (if they care about passing), sometimes can be higher than women of similar caliber
>if they don't pass biologically, they're willing to either learn techniques or mod their body to do so
>their meds and supplement stack helps them suppress their male scent and body hair, if T is suppressed properly
>can't get pregnant (in the forseeable future), allowing you to DINK without issues
>will even install a bonus hole if they're tired of applying lube and/or the balls touching
>will not immediately ignore your messages on dating profiles
>often found in fetish communities, meaning you can find them looking to satisfy near-impossible fetishes for the low price of larping cringe scenarios
>can even blackmail them with their cringe (some may even warp that into a kink)

The only thing they can't do with plastic surgery is lactate on demand, get pregnant, and make babies, features that have been neglected by feminism and bodily autonomy. Otherwise, if somebody can vet out the STDs on a tranny candidate, a dude can have a one-night stand without a girl knowing, and even save cash from the $200 dates a woman would normally charge these days, just to invite them for food.

If it wasn't for the cuck nonsense for surrogate parents, the only thing holding men from being gay is the phobia that another man has the capacity to hurt you in a fistfight, once sufficiently angered, and that it could all be an act so that way they get to top you.

>but i don’t find being a fat woman fun
Lose weight then, and never look back. There are plenty enough women that get off on stuffing and size play. The "point of no return" is a myth from lazy idiots that are incapable of change, as there's plenty of 300+ lbs people who dropped the weight from sheer willpower, diet, and exercise. If you're abusing Ozempic or stapling your stomach, you're ngmi - our habits can define us, but also fix us with the right mindset. In fact, there's probably a gainer that would kill to be your size, so reconsider why the way you are.

>>43413
Force is strong in this one.

>>43315 (OP)
It’s not because they’re “easier” it’s a preference we all for whatever reason share. I like big girls with a soft belly. You all are actually way harder to find than you might think

If you want, post a pic of your face, I’ll rate it. I really doubt you’re as ugly as you think. Blur your eyes if you want, I can rate based on bone structure, inserts, symmetry.

You clearly have an insecurity about yourself, most people do.

>>43420
I scrolled a little further. I’m a fit, fairly attractive white guy. I like black and Asian girls for the most part, so as many above me have said, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You seem like a really nice girl, and I’m upset to read about your negative experiences, and I’m sorry you aren’t seemingly happy with yourself. I think some confidence would solve a lot of your problems, and if I could help you with that I’d be elated.

> it must be draining having to look after us and all the issues (stigma, the unfunny “jokes” from your friends, health stuff, trauma from childhood bullying)

>stigma
It almost doesn’t exist and if it does most people keep it to themselves. Being fat is more common than ever and is pretty much normalized at this point. I’m a 150lb guy that’s been with a 270lb girl for 8 years and I can only think of a handful of times where we have been verbally judged. The truth is that people will judge you and make fun of you for ANYTHING, so why be self-conscious?

>jokes
Same as above, I’ve never really experienced it past the age of like, 17. Everyone in my life has been accepting of me and my girlfriend. Maybe it’s a thing that some people deal with, but why let that stop you from being with someone?

>health stuff
It is a concern for sure. But also, thin people are not automatically healthier either. This isn’t to say that being fat is healthy, but that health shouldn’t be a limiting factor in a relationship, at least as long as it’s something you are willing and prepared to deal with.

>trauma
Everyone has trauma. Fat people may have more trauma, and a lot of times becoming overweight is a trauma response in and of itself. But again, not a reason not to be with someone. Especially if you’re like me, and you’ve had plenty of your own trauma, I don’t see how this is a dealbreakers.

The basis of your argument is essentially rooted in the idea that fat people are embarrassing to be around, or that they have less intrinsic worth. At the end of the day, people are people. If you were to find the perfect partner with a thin body and no trauma and outstanding health and social status and wealth etc. etc. etc… who is to say you would even be happy with that person? Thus, I choose to be with a fat girl because I know it is what makes me happy, even if she is not “perfect”.

>>43373
>but there’s so many different shapes and proportions under the umbrella of fat

True; like I said it's not one to one.

Actually, I think that's part of why fat appeals to us: With slim bodies it's usually the same handful of shapes, or if there are variations they're very subtle, but with fat bodies those variations are way more pronounced. Hell, BBWwiki's categories help prove this in my mind.

Apologies for sperging but yeah, I'm pretty sure by our nature, chubby chasers have a lot of appreciation for all kinds of shapes, even beyond the classic hourglass and pear, so don't worry about it so much :)

>>43315 (OP)
>>43325
Post belly plz