Does anyone else here struggle with Body Dysmorphia? I can't help but find it very ironic that I, a trim guy who loves big women, becomes distressed at the very thought of putting on even a gram of fat, but it has been a serious impediment in building relationships, especially when it makes a girl insecure about her amazing body because of my unstable relation with my own.

Any tips on minimizing these feelings, if you've had the experience?

I would like to ask. In more detail, how has this been an impediment? I just want more information before giving a response.

>>41356
I struggle to build dating profiles because I'm constantly spotting flaws in my appearance; some days I'll purposefully run late for appointments because I think something about how I look feels off; can spend overly long just sitting and watching myself in the mirror etc. Also part of the reason that when I'm flirted at (objectively, I realize I'm quite handsome; I just struggle to consistently internalize that), I refuse to see it as genuine.

Idk if this is the best place to talk about this type of thing but it's frustrating, especially when I'm someone who's an FA, so in other people extra weight is usually a plus, but why do I find the very thought repulsive for myself?

Hey man!

Two questions off the bat.

How old are you?
Did you grow up a big kid?

You sound alot like me in college just after I had lost 110 pounds.

I grew up heavy myself and maxxed out at 250 at the end of my senior year in high school (at just 5'6" tall too). As a result, i never dated. I just thought of myself as so ugly.

I went ham over my freshman and sophomore. Ate right and worked out a fuck ton. Got down from 250 to 140. Everyone in my life was super proud and i got compliments galore from my family and friends but i still saw myself as 250 pounds.

Like you, i would start dating profiles and stress myself out trying to capture the right photos. I would legit stare in the mirror for dozens of minutes and retry on new outfits cause i thought i looked fat in everything (mind you im a fucking size small). I once went on a date with a smaller BBW (like 180ish tops) and i casually made a joke about how fat i looked (again, im 140) and she legit looked at me like i was a mental patient..like even did this face 🤨lmfao

To tell ya truth, my issue really didnt go away until i met my current girlfriend.

My senior year is when i met her. She was 4 years younger and a freshman but was already a pretty big girl. She's only an inch shorter than me but was already in the high 200s. I really admired how willing she was to show off her body--despite not having ALOT of insecurities herself. Like, she doesnt like being big but she'll happily wear a crop top that exposes the top part of her belly.

Eventually it got to a point where i was like "if she's comfy enough to do that than i should stop being such a bitch if my SIZE SMALL tshirt feels just a lil snug"

Fast foward 4 years, she's 22 and close to 400 pounds now and her confidence is still there and my mine has improved alot being with her.

I guess my advice is just kinda fake it for now. I promise there alot of big girls around you who would be really happy to have someone like you make a polite gesture toward them.

Note-this photo reminds me of my girl and I. Like i said, if she can be comfy in her body. So can i

Damn, this thread hits too close to my situation.

>>41386
Oh hey! You're relationship goals guy! Good to hear from you.

To answer your question; no, I've never been overweight. In fact, there were several points in my childhood where I was actually underweight.

I was bullied for several other reasons though, both real and imagined, so I kind of came to develop a complex that everything about me was "wrong" (something I still struggle with that has impeded my nonexistent dating life post-COVID, but I'm building up my confidence and have been talking to an amazing girl).

I also had really shitty friends in the past, including two brothers who were extremely skinny and because I was the "fattest" by process of elimination, I was subjected to a lot of taunting, also from other bullies in general who picked up on my insecurity.

I'm fairly lean, but have a little bit of belly fat I want to cut, as well as a nutritional plan I want to put into place. To this stay I still can't realy go into a pool without a swim shirt but baby steps, y'know?

>>41347 (OP)
Yeah I did at one point. I just worked out until I look like the greek god I am now and I no longer feel that way. Your feelings are a sign that you should self-improve and fix your perceived flaws. That should fix your self-confidence unless your insecurities stem from some deeper issue

Most women's bodies look attractive just by their mere existence, but it isnt the same for men. Nobody looks at the soft, skinnyfat body of an average guy and thinks "wow such a beautiful body," but it happens all the time for women. Its because softness and high bodyfat are feminine, so these traits are appealing for women but not for men. the male form can only ever look aesthetically pleasing if it's lean and muscular

>>41422
Your comment is not off-base but FWIW, guys who look like Greek gods don't go around bragging they look like Greek gods. Feels LARPy.

>>41426
Haha sorry, my ego is a little inflated right now is all. But I'm the real deal

>>41435
Wow, that's totally helpful

>>41439
I can't tell if you're being sarcastic but I genuinely hope it motivates you! Dealing with body dysmorphia is first and foremost about developing self-acceptance. You must always remember that you are good enough just the way you are (and if you're religious, that this is the way god made you). If you dont repeat this to yourself until you genuinely believe it you will always have feelings of self-loathing no matter how much weight you lose or muscle you build.
At the same time you need to make positive changes that bring you closer to your ideal self, because even though you are good enough, you must always strive to be better. Wallowing in self pity only makes it worse, so you need to always be working towards a goal. Putting in effort and seeing your body improve over time is very motivating and does a lot for your confidence.
Depending on your goal, this may not necessarily even entail lifting weights. You can play a sport or start a physically active hobby.

If you want advice on working out or anything like that feel free to ask. Good luck!

>>41441
It was sarcasm at first, but the followup is legitimately helpful. Still, another issue of mine is my face. I realize I've got good features like long lashes, a nice nose, straight teeth and a sharp jawline, but I constantly feel like something is ever so slightly "off"

>>41386
>>41441
Would either of you happen to have any nutrition plans/advice you'd be able to share? Like, meal prep wise.

>>41872
> any nutrition plans/advice you'd be able to share? Like, meal prep wise.
Protein heavy, slight carbs.
-Grilled chicken on spinach/kale raw/sautéed in olive oil. 2x a day.
-Black coffee with a little cream (keto is a good excuse to warehouse cartons of the stuff).
-Maybe some fruit carbs before a workout with a protein heavy smoothie afterwards.

Aim for about 2000 calories daily, eating nearly 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight (and plenty of fiber). Fat or carbohydrates are fine in proportion to how much you burn working out that day.