>>437371. Dating in your 20's is mostly figuring out what you like and don't like, that goes for fat or thin girls. It sucks that there's an extra issue attached to dumping a fat girl that you aren't 100% into, but it's not like thin girls don't get hurt when they like you and you dump them, I've broken a few thin girls hearts and it looks pretty similar. You can't do anything about that really.
2. >Am I a shallow asshole for not liking someone who isn’t plus size?
No, I'm a "wife poster" sorry in advance, but I told my wife recently that as a fat woman I find her both sexy, obviously, and also cute. Like, there's parts of her that I find sexier because she's fat, but I also find her cuter, and more worthy of my love(?) because she is fat. For instance her fat knees are so cute to me, I just want to kiss them and love her for them, but her thighs are right above her knees and those drive me wild with lust. Does that make sense? Is that fully a "fetish", or a preference with a fetish wrapped up in it? I dunno. I dated lots of skinny, cute girls, but the first time I cuddled a fat girl my arms felt "full" and it felt completely right(even though it was just a fling).
>People have commented before there are some stuff which you just cannot do with some plus size people. I’m a relatively active person and I would hate to either be restricted or forced to do certain things on my own due to my partner’s weight.My wife is just never going to go on a hike with me(she's 5'6, 300lbs) and part of that is the physical weight, but part of that is how she got fat in the first place, she doesn't like physical activity really. She's kind of a human housecat, it took some adjustment from both of us, but I get that now. Lots of spouses have similar arrangements when the wife is "skinny" but lazy or just uninterested in fishing/hiking/camping/hunting, your wife is not a man, and will have female interests that aren't probably super physically exerting. She might just think walking around a city/hiking sounds boring after the first time, lots of skinny women like that.
3. >Another thing is that I want kids but I would never want them to be fat.
My kids are little, but they are definitely not fat, in fact our youngest has a bottomless appetite for snacks/treats, but almost looks underweight. I won't say there's a home cooked meal every night, but we aren't crazy with junk food, most snacks/treats are pretty healthy in our house. That's boys though, I have no idea about how to raise a girl on a healthy diet. The only thing is my wife really dislikes it when they point out that she's fat, and we talk about not mentioning other people's bodies in general, it really is rude and I'm no fat activist.
4.>Like you could be doing everything “right” but just certain things going on in the brain is putting them in a really bad place. Is there any advice in helping with things like this?
There's no getting around the fact that perfectly mentally healthy people don't usually get super fat, it just takes a lot of work and reassurance. I've also dated some absolute basket cases that were skinny, birth control really messes all women up unfortunately. I'm also not a perfect mental specimen myself. Just try to find the healthiest one you can, and be ready to do some work to get the love that you really want.