To anyone who has thought about or even has already dated an overweight woman, what opinion would/did your relatives have about it?

Personally, I don't know if I would be brave enough to date one. I have only dated skinny girls, more coincidentally than intentionally.
Maybe the a fattest I'd date would around 210 pounds or so like Tiana (pic related), and I know that would still set some alarms with my close family. Plus I'm a skinny guy so the contrast would be more noticeable.

Besides, my mom really judges obese people. Although she isn't fit obsessed or anything, she always has something to say against fat people. Out of all my relatives she would be the one more against it.

>>34180 (OP)
My mum is the same. Overall I doubt they would like it, but at this point I think I would be able to tell them that even if they don't like what she looks like, I'm happy to be with someone who likes me and wants to spend time with me, even if she isn't their idea of a perfect daughter-in-law. As a 25 year old who has never dated or talked to my parents about girls it would be better than nothing.
I would be bringing home a bigger woman than that twig in your pic btw.

>>34180 (OP)
My mom is incredibly judgemental about fat people, and likewise always has something to say.

One thing that really surprised me is we were talking about my ex once and I forget what the topic was but I mentioned she was a bit big (200 lbs, 5'3, gained like 35 lbs during the relationship) and my mom was like "Really? I didn't think so"

Idk if she was just saying that to be polite, but that'd be incredibly out of character if so. Idk it just surprised me, my ex was basically as big as the OP pic

My parents have been very supportive and non-judgemental in general. Every girlfriend I've had has been at least chubby, the biggest girl I ever brought home being around 350 lbs, and I never heard a word about it.

>>34184
>As a 25 year old who has never dated

bro, it's over

>>34184
>As a 25 year old who has never dated or talked to my parents about girls

>> I'm happy to be with someone who likes me and wants to spend time with me

Pick one

My parents are pretty judgemental against fat people. My mom got the default Asian hate towards lazy fatties and my Dad told me he took the Harvard implicit bias test and he was biased against fat people, but he feels kinda guilty about it. Anyways, before I brought home my first gf to them, who was 5'4 ~230 pounds, I let them know and they had a few questions but didn't really care. I bet they say things behind my back but what the hell are they really gonna do. they're good people and they accepted it. I'm far from family now but my current gf is 5'7 ~285 so if they come visit I am nervous they may say something off, but ultimately its my life so I'm not gonna change my preferences for them. I do think they'd have a limit of acceptability though. If I was dating a 400 lb girl I think they'd object.

OP here
>>34184
Once you're close to your 30s they'll accept anybody bro, besides fatties are more commonly seen after they reached their late 20s. I'm just 20 so that plays against me.

>>34185
Maybe she was being sarcastic? Backhanded sarcasm. I see a theme here of mothers against obesity, I wonder why that's a pattern.

>>34186
Based

>>34197
It's your place now, your rules. If they say something about the girl you date, it won't be in your face.
Oh yeah the ethnic background definitely plays into it. It's weird since I'm Latino myself, and although there's the stereotype of latinas being curvier, my mom doesn't like that. Tho everybody knows Hispanic girls end up ballooning during relationships eventually.

I doubt either of my parents would care.My mom is pretty open to whoever I bring home,and my dad has joked with me a couple of times about me liking big girls,not knowing how deep the rabbit hole is for me lol

I have an almond mom who is extremely fatphobic towards herself, her very fat best friend, and my average/relatively thin sister. She has a terrible relationship with eating, drinks hot water every morning, shame binges on fast food in her car, but will also go seemingly days without eating. She has never weighed more than 130 pounds in her life. It's just gross all around.

My dad seemingly loves curvy women, but can even say some fatphobic things himself about people he doesn't like.

That said, every serious partner I've ever had had been at least 210 lbs, my current partner is pushing 4 bills. That said, my father LOVES her, and is always complimenting her and talking about how gorgeous she is. She is, to be fair. She's a conventional 10 plus 275 lbs. Lol

Not all of my partners have even MET my mom. My current partner has a passable relationship with her, but you can tell my mom resents the fact that my partner is fat, happy, and is loved immediately by almost every person she meets. There's almost a jealous "why do I suffer to be thin and miserable, while she gets to be liked by everyone and still be a fat pig" kind of energy I get from their dynamic. My partner sees it too. Honestly, we find it sad more than anything, since it's all projection.

It really illustrates that anyone who takes issue with other people's appearances are projecting, and frankly, they often hate themselves or their lives. No person happy and comfortable with who they are uses their energy to harshly criticize others.

So, if you're ever concerned about what a parent might say if you brought a very fat partner home, depending on who they are as a person, they'll hate whoever you bring home to a certain degree (it just may be more obvious of it's a fat partner), or, they could support you, if they know this is who makes you happy. How they make you feel, and how they treat you is all your family should ever be concerned with. Don't let other's jaded opinions effect anything you do for yourself.

I think they might be a little surprised upon first meeting her. They might ask me about it. But I think they'd get over it pretty quickly. My relationship with my parents is one where they don't really bother me about my choices. Even if they disapproved, I wouldn't care. I respect them, and I seek out their advice sometimes, but I otherwise don't really care what they think lol.

However I still probably wouldn't date a girl bigger than around 300 lbs. Any bigger than that and she becomes really noticeable, and I don't feel like attracting all of that attention, in public or from friends. Not that I'm ashamed or embarrassed by my preference by any means, but I just don't want my relationship to be a spectacle. I also don't want her to be extremely limited by her size, cause I still want to live a relatively normal life together (I know jogging together is off the table regardless, but I at least want to be able to take a walk together). Fantasy is one thing, but in reality I think I could be just as happy with a 275-lber as I could with a 400-lber, especially if we have a good relationship otherwise.

I've posted a lot about this topic in the past. My parents aren't very happy about my preference.
My mother and I are skinny. She doesn't hate fat people per se, but she does "concern troll" them a lot, especially female relatives (to include her daughter). She has never behaved like this with any of my partners. I think this is because she knows I would very pissed off if she did. On the other hand, she has told me that she doesn't approve of me dating big girls. For her it's (ostensibly) all about her concern for their health. With all that being said she has gotten a lot better recently, particularly because my dad is really being an asshole about it lately.
My father is fat (400ish). He has been fat as long as I can remember, but he was relatively skinny when I was a baby. He yo-yo diets a lot (without ever losing any noticeable amount of weight). He also has a penchant for fad diets, especially keto. When he's in a "dieting phase" he is extremely judgmental towards other fat people, especially fat women. He is in one of these phases at the moment and it's driving me nuts.
I mentioned my sister. She is currently fat (250ish) and also yo-yo diets a lot, but unlike my father she is actually able to lose weight when she puts her mind to it. IMO this is because she actually knows what the fuck she's doing, lol. Both my parents were putting her under a lot of pressure to lose weight until very recently (she told them to fuck off).

The first fat gf my parents met was also the heaviest (350ish, which is considered a LOT for an early 20s woman here in Ireland). This was years ago. They never said anything unkind to her while we were together, but they put some pressure on me to dump her. After I did so (which I regret and am not proud of) it all came out. They went on about how unhealthy she was and even implied that they thought I was sick in the head for loving her.
Other big girls I've dated since then were smaller (all 250ish). My parents weren't as extreme with them - as I mentioned, I think they've realised that that kind of talk really pisses me off - but I can still always tell they disapprove.

I'm married to a "fat girl".

We've been together for about ten years now. By fat, I mean she fluctuates between 275 and 325 pounds and is on the heavier side of that right now... so quite fat even by US standards.

My wife is extremely outgoing and personable, so I've gotten zero pushback from family that would otherwise not hesitate to make fun of bigger women. My family is full of deep seated repression, and I held back on dating anyone not considered conventionally attractive for a long time, but when I ultimately broke and dated tge people I wanted to date it was a huge nothing burger. The worst I get is the occasional "concern" about whether or not it's a gland problem or whatever (it's not, my wife hates exercise and loves carbs.) But otherwise my family absolutely loves her.

So much of how your friends and family react to your partner has to do with who they are as people and your own confidence in dating that person. If you date a fat women and she's offputting, they'll probably dislike her (this wouod be true if she were thin and offputting too.) If you bring her to the house and seem ashamed they'll also say something (and your partner will also probably notice.)

So just nut up and be confident. It's your life, not theirs.

I will say this, probably meaningless from some random retard on the internet.

If you refuse to date fat women that you are actually attracted to because of what your parents might think, you need to grow up and are missing out. I know everybody has different relationships with their parents, but It’s really that simple.

My advice is to gut it out and defend your GF unconditionally. They don't have to "approve" of fatness but it's their problem, not hers. They owe you and your GF respect, and if you don't demand it now you'll never get it. Also your GF will likely be way more worried about the encounter than you are and if she's worth bringing home, she's worth protecting.

My (divorced) parents are thin and I was raised with a fair amount of fatphobia. I'm Gen X so fat people were fairly rare when I was a kid and there was absolutely no stigma about criticizing them. Forget "size acceptance," there wasn't even any sympathy for them. Obesity was considered a lack of self-control, period.

My dad was fatphobic in a casual way, pretty normal for the time. He really didn't hate anyone, though once in a while he'd see a particularly fat person and crack a mean joke or register mild disgust. My mom was more hardcore, like yours, and rarely let a fat woman pass her sight without saying something out loud about it — sometimes loud enough for the woman to hear it.

They knew I was an FA from a young age — they found drawings I made, and later a plus sized lingerie catalog and some porn I had hidden. It was also pretty obvious from the type of women and girls I looked at when we were out and about. Otherwise they were very chill parents and their attitude about my preference was basically denial. They never confronted me with it, and the worst I endured was my dad making a smirky joke when a fat woman came on TV — "there's one for you."

Still, I was terrified to bring fat girls home to meet them. My first GF in 8th grade was chunky, what you'd call midsized now but one of the biggest in our grade. We went to the jr. high prom together so my mom met her that night. I was worried but my mom was extremely cool about it, complimented her on her dress and said she looked pretty. It was a huge relief of course, but that was literally the only time they crossed paths.

My first serious GF was in 10th grade, she was a year ahead of me and one of the fattest students in the school. Again, by modern American standards she was "very plump" at best but back then she was fat-fat. The good news was that I was more self-confident in general. I'd endured a bit of hazing from my friends but the longer we dated she became part of the gang and that stopped. That was trial by fire because honestly I was more worried about my friends' opinions than my parents'.

Meanwhile my mom hadn't really mellowed out with her general fat phobia so I was hardly more confident this time about introducing them. But again she surprised me by being cool, complimenting her like with my first GF (and legitimately this time — she really was pretty!) and never bringing up her weight.

My dad surprised me as well, not by being cool (he was cool in general) but by making an inappropriate sexual remark about her, in front of her (boomers...), indicating he was into her. It may have been his version of a compliment and landed like a lead ballooon but I took it as a stamp of approval.

Things were more complicated with the woman who would become my wife. She was the largest woman I'd dated, low-200s when we met but short and very round. A legit fat chick lol. My dad really liked her from the first minute and so again he wasn't an issue. He was remarried by this time and his wife wasn't quite as cool, kind of smirky and said bitchy things behind her back. I didn't appreciate it but it could have been worse.

My mom, sensing this was "the one," got weird and protective and was not as friendly as she'd been to my other GFs. She seemed to bring up diet stuff and "health" more often than necessary and did shit like serve her half-portions, or make suggestions for her at restaurants. She never complimented my then-GF and seemed uncomfortable with our PDAs — kissing, holding hands, etc.

I was a little in denial at first but my future wife called it out and so I confronted my mom, told her to cut the shit. She argued that she was only looking out for her health, etc. I said that wasn't her business and if she kept it up it would hurt our relationship permanently. It turned into an ugly argument, where she went right up to the brink of calling me out as a pervert/fetishist/whatever. Not that she was wrong, lol, but again, none of her fucking business.

I wound up icing my mom out for almost a year. I was dutiful with sending gifts and such but skipped holidays at her house and we barely spoke. She got really upset about it and I told her if she was willing to be normal with my GF and not make a thing about her weight, her eating, etc all would be forgiven. I'd spoken to my GF about this and she agreed. In fact she felt bad that our relationship was hurt by it and encouraged me to reconcile with her either way.

Long story long, my mom apologized and we agreed to move on in a "don't ask, don't tell" kind of way. It took a while longer but they eventually her became friendly, even though my wife gained some weight after we married. The marriage ultimately didn't go the distance but I'm glad I stood up when I did and held the line. I've only brought one woman "home" since and the reception was way, way better.

Bottom line, some parents need to be trained, and tough love sometimes has to go both ways.

>>34219

>>I'm Gen X

Which explains your 13 paragraph response.

TDLR: your parents hated fat people, but pulled their head out of their asses as time went on.

>>34244
>Which explains your 13 paragraph response.

Hey, it gave you something to do besides blaming past generations for your dysfunction.

>>34244
I enjoyed reading it, every board needs some effortports to balance out the shitposts and vice-versa.

>>34216
This right here. At some point you need to realise this is your life, and if anyone has a problem with the people you date, well that's a them problem.

My parents are both mildly fat phobic (typical boomers). Mum more the silently judging type, while my dad will actively make comments when he sees fat people on TV or in public, etc.

My GF is 250lbs. They never said anything rude about her. And honestly, if they did, I'd promptly call them out on that shit. In general though, I think a lot of parents who are rude to fat people as an abstract group are much more accepting in person than we expect. I do think there'd be a limit to their approval (ie: over 400lbs they might make comments), but also it's my life to live so fuck 'em.

>>34247

Shut up boomer.

>>34215
Good man, I had a very similar response. I will say to younger guys, it's really not as big(lol) of an issue once you have kids. Your parents are happy with grandkids, and the average person doesn't know if you dated her as a fat girl, or if she ballooned up after kids, so it stops mattering was sooner than you think in my experience.

>>34219
Don't listen to what other people say, it was an interesting read old man. True experiences to set the example.


And yeah tbf the older one gets the less judgemental parents might become. I hope my future wife plumpers after marriage, it's always the best excuse for a girl to gain weight.
For the meanwhile, I can only dream of dating a fatty.

please ban the autist kraut on ssbbw

My mom is the stereotypically fat-hating mom and makes all sorts of snide remarks about random fat people. We were on a hike and she pointed out another hiking couple and said to me “you see, she’s considered attractive and normal but in my time that would have been chubby and she would need to get her act together..” stuff like that. but she’d keep her comments to herself if it were my girlfriend. I bet she’d say stuff behind my back though to my dad.

I don’t live in the same city so they don’t really know of every last partner I have but in high school I did date a gal for about 6 months that had the physique of someone that would 100% struggle with her weight later. Big boobs, short, and kind of a cherubic face and you just knew she would not stay that small for long. I’ve always wondered what she said about her.

>>34352
Thanks, glad it worked for you. The OP asked for advice and experiences and I gave it. If 1K words breaks 34244's brain, it's a him-problem.

>>34353
Second this.

Sometimes I wonder how my relatives would react if I brought a fat girlfriend. Especially because one side of my family is full of fat people, while the other which includes my nuclear family is more skinny. I know that one side would be more accepting for sure.

>>34445
My Long Island cop parents honestly loved my first girlfriend, turned fiancé. She was the right religion, and despite being over 400 pounds took great care of her hygiene. What got weird was that she always used the upstairs bathroom and when we were getting it remodeled the cat came out of the bag that she did so because she couldn’t fit into the recessed nooks either toilets were located. She claimed she never did anything but pee and change tampons at our house but my parents weren’t ever really the same around her, constantly washing their hands and changing towels after she was over.

>>34180 (OP)
My mom keeps it to herself. I was a late bloomer so I think my mom was worried for a bit, so once I had a few girlfriends I think she was just relieved I wasnt going to be an incel.

My step dad doesnt really say anything but I know he seethes. He likes my fiance but hes definitely fatphobic. His mom passed a few years ago but she got disinivted from my family events after she commented on a few of my family members' physiques, so that's where he gets it. My mom was not happy when she was talking about my cousin who just had a baby

I think the general theme im reading is that Mom's can be our worst enemy... for me it was kinda the same.

I grew up a short and heavy kid, so, I never dated, even thru high school. It was around my freshman year of college when i started getting serious about fitness (i just wanted to fuck lol).

I eventually lost like over 100 pounds (going from 250 to 140). My family was SUPER (over the moon) proud of me and i think they thought my weight loss would give me the confidence to start talking to pretty girls.

They were right. My confidence went up a ton, but my families idea of "pretty" is different then mine.

I met my girlfriend at bar on our campus and it was pretty much love at first sight. She was 19 and already in the mid to high 200 (it had seemed). Outside of her body, i just thought she was so pretty too. She's 5'5 and half asian but got ALL the pretty asian girl features from her mom (tiny button nose, round-rosey cheeks, big doe eyes). She's very feminine and girly too. Exactly what i wanted.

My dad loved her right away and still does. My mom is nice and doesnt 'hate' her but she is not super happy with my choice. She even once went as far as to basically say "You didnt have to lose all that weight if you were just going to end up with her." Kinda doubt that tbh, my GF loves that im fit lol.

My mom has alot of issues with weight. She was always heavy until she got the sleeve a few years back. Now she's super skinny with the ego of a War Lord. None the less, her opinion on the matter means very little to me.

My GF and I have been dating for 4 years now, she's gained about 60 pounds in that time. She crossed 300 marker early this year and has refused to step on our scale since :)

Note-- I chose this image because it kinda looks like us.

>>34901
Nice, I hope you and your fat Asian girl have a happy relationship.

What's the connection between moms and excessively worrying about weight? It must be some Gen X and Boomer phenomenon related to education. Only one poster in this thread has said his dad is the more “fatphobic" one.

No one in my family is mean to others directly, but some like to talk about people behind their back. A few of the men in my family share this trait and are also fatphobic, so I grew up hearing a lot of comments and gossip about people’s weight, especially the weight of women.

I haven’t brought home a really big girl yet, but I know when I do that there will be talk about it when I’m not in the room. This doesn’t bother me because the shallow secret thoughts of others are nothing compared to the comfort of a real love connection, especially if it’s the love of a big woman.

>>34180 (OP)
Poorly

I dated a girl who was 5'0 and 240, they could barely even keep it together how much they were judging her, and as soon as I talked to them alone they dogpiled me

It just basically reaffirmed my commitment to keep my parents at a distance. Honestly though let's be real - I'm posting on an obscure fetish forum, it's not as if I'm getting laid any time soon

Pretty sure my mother would have me beheaded

Thankfully, my mum didn’t care how fat or thin my GF’s were, so long as A) We genuinely like/love each other & B) That we both treated each other with the upmost respect and dignity.

The biggest that I dated was 350 lbs, and aside from one embarrassing moment when my GF got stuck in the door way (most of her weight went to her hips/butt/thighs), my mum didn’t bat an eye about her weight, she didn’t demonize her when she wasn’t around, and so forth. The only thing that my mum was concerned for me was making sure that the people that I dated weren’t going to cheat or blindside me, which was one concern for this person that I was going out with when I was in university.

>>35027
>GF got stuck in the door way
Lol that's hot. Did she have to turn to the side to get through?

I had no problems at all
When I first introduced my gf nobody really said anything
My mother (rip) always said, you can bring home whoever you want, even if she doesn't fit through the doorframe, it doesn't matter (little did she know haha ^^)
I don't think she really knew that there are people with a preference for big women, because she sometimes said things like I could do better and was concerned about health and all that (but never in a negative or mean way)
Probably just didn't understand it since she was very much watching her own weight..
My father never said anything about it
I guess he knows about it, but it's probably rather obvious when you bring home a 420 lbs girl ;)

They all liked her tho after getting to know her..

I've noticed something IRL, and this thread is confirming it: older generation women who are insecure about their own weight are particularly nasty to the younger overweight women.

Set aside the lifelong fitness ladies and those women from countries that don't have many fat people, I've seen that OLDER FAT WOMEN are the most mean to the very obese youth. They project a lifelong internal and societal hatred of their body onto others. I rarely see skinny people make fun of fatties, the most common occurrence being teenagers. Otherwise they may look, but keep to themselves

My current girlfriend (5'3 550lbs) was recently targeted at a grocery store while buying Halloween candy to hand out to neighborhood kids. Some 60+ yr old lady, also around 350 lbs, decided to say some shit like "oh honey you don't need that candy, get a grip on your life, you should have vegetables instead", to which we thankfully both spoke up and told her to fuck off, the candy was for neighborhood kids. I was shocked someone who was ALSO VERY FAT would say shit like this. This happens more often than you'd think.

There's a lot of weak minded people out there that have had a lifetime of diets and public shaming about their own weight. Ironic that now they're part of the hive mind and also shame the youth, full well knowing the damage it does to them mentally. They can't fathom the recent trend of fat pride.

I feel bad for you guys here who's overweight moms shame your dating interests. Remember to stand firm and set hard boundaries.

>>35072

This tracks. The people who are the most hateful/rude to my partner are older fat women in public. My partner dresses really nicely, and has great hair and makeup all the time; she looks really great almost every time we go out. She'd be a societal 10/10 if she wasn't nearly 400lbs.

When we're out, older fat women straight up stare while furling their brows, grimacing, and frowning at her. You can feel the hateful (maybe jealous?) energy coming from them. I see it happen constantly. They roll their eyes, scoff, and I'm even heard some frustrated groans. We're convinced it's misplaced jealousy in a way; here's this fat lady dressed and styled impeccably, and the older generation never had access to nicer plus sized clothes, and were treated cruelly by society so long, treated as 'lost causes' that 'gave up', that they started to believe that was how they should portray themselves.

That's our theory, at least. No one hates on fat women more than older fat women.

I will say, a close runner-up for fat women hate are single fat men. These guys feel like they need to compensate with stereotypically attractive partners, so they're the ones who are the loudest/most outspoken about their hatred of fat women.

It's crazy how much fat hate comes down to transference and poor self confidence.

My family was weirded out by it like I was a freak of nature. Or how you would expect a christian family to act about a family member coming out as gay in the early 90s, very unlike how if someone comes out being gay today no one cares.

My mom found my hand drawn porn stash of weight gain blob and immobile comic art. I kept it in a leather folder it was like an inch and a half thick stack of printer paper art I drew and save over many years.

I just hear her yelling "wtf wtf" and started reading the comics out loud to everyone in the room like a complet fucking cunt instead of being a normal fucking human being and keeping the shit to herself and putting it away.

For many years I stopped drawing after that and never even looked at women because she started asking nosy ass shit every time we whet out "Theres one, does that do it for you?" I was fucking mortified because she would be as loud and obnoxious about it as possable. Like she could scare the fat lust out of me like christian people think scaring the gay out of people works in there minds.

I hated her fucking guts for this shit for decades and moved over 1K+ miles away not talking to her for 5+ years.

I talk to her now but keep up a lot of walls and cuss her out the second she says anything about what I find attractive. She now never says anything about it.

My grandma was clearly weired out about it and asked me one day "do you just like a motherly looking women?" at least that was very milded compared to my moms full retarted mental brake that her son loves and is turned on by extreamly obese nearly immobile women.

After I moves away the first thing I did was found the fattest woman I could and dated her. Then dated someone even fatter and repeated that till I got with a woman for 2 years that was so fat she could hardly walk and loved every bit of it.

Unlike a lot of people who post on here they only like the fantasy of a women so fat shes is damn near immoble or how its to much work or they don't like how boring it is sitting at home with a blob. I fully enjoy and thrive with a woman nearly immoble and nothing is to much work or to gross about the bodily care of a woman too fat to wash herself.

>>34219
Glad to know I'm not the only one who hand-drew their fat porn lol. Thanks for being so relatable Gen X from a Gen Y.

I get off on the thought of my friends and family seeing me with a massive whale of a woman.

>>35072
>>35083
This. Only in the past couple years have I noticed definitively how my mom's obesity and her Gen X insecurity about it, she projects into criticism of others.
>>35178
With all my heart, I'm so sorry you went through that Anon and the years of denial and tension. One time as a young teen my dad found a bbw doujin "Hey There Pig Milf!" it was called (you can still find it) on his pc I was looking at, and thankfully he didn't say too much except a comment during an outburst, but even that scarred me as far as I remember. I pray you have peace now and can make amends with your family.

>>34180 (OP)
My mom accepts it and even helps me try to meet fat women IRL. I don't know how to meet them online so that has been helpful.

My Uncle has been okay with it too.

My Grandmother by the time she found out was suffering from dementia and had no clue.

Co-Workers know, and they're okay with it. A fat female coworker of mine has been trying to get me to date her for awhile, but she's really fucking lazy and dumb and lies too much. She also pissed my mom off.

>>35083
>I will say, a close runner-up for fat women hate are single fat men. These guys feel like they need to compensate with stereotypically attractive partners, so they're the ones who are the loudest/most outspoken about their hatred of fat women.

I've noticed this too. When I started openly dating BBWs (I didn't make a big deal about it, but I was going to bashes and would mention it casually when talking about my social life), none of my family or skinny friends had a problem with it. The only person in my life who reacted badly was my best friend from high school, who's a lifelong fat guy.

I can't remember exactly what he said, but I can remember the look on his face and the tone of his voice, and the clear implication was "Dude, that's really fucked up, please don't ever bring this up around me again." As a frustrated fat guy who has trouble finding and keeping a GF (he's been played more than once by conventionally hot girls who string him along for social clout or emotional support), I think it triggered a lot of insecurities for him that someone might actually prefer a fat partner. That said, he's always been perfectly nice to my wife.

>>35229
>Only in the past couple years have I noticed definitively how my mom's obesity and her Gen X insecurity about it, she projects into criticism of others.

Here's another wordy post for you GenX haters:

Not to excuse her behavior or anyone else from my generation, but understand not only did we not grow up with SA/BoPo, but every aspect of society — the media, the govt, the medical system, the fashion industry and corporate America as a whole — was viciously anti-fat in the 70s-80s. NAAFA was the only fat acceptance org that existed and the only time you saw them was when they were dragged onto a daytime talk show like circus freaks.

Not saying it's a party now, but being fat, particularly a fat woman, was a nightmare in all respects. What your mom internalized was that if you were significantly overweight you'd never find a partner or have a family unless you settled for the bottom of the barrel, never have a career, and everyone would shun you until you died early from fat-related illness.

A lot of us have evolved since (especially as we got fat ourselves), but otherwise to see her son dating someone fat was not only shame for her but a massive burden for you.

>>34829
I had similar happen. My family from cape cod, during grad school my then Gf came to visit during break. The powder room sink wasn’t draining right after the first few days. The guest room on-suite’s pluming was backed up with the worst gunk I can’t describe. She denied it but looking back we all knew what happened and just didn’t address it. We’ve ignore worse shit like other peoples drug addiction and abuse so I guess I lucked out with the uptight wasp family in this instance.

>>35516
Indeed, WASP con: they’re all thinking about their weight because being fat isn’t a “done thing.”

WASP pro: unmatched ability to ignore the obvious and avoid bringing subjects up that are either uncomfortable or require someone to state their feelings.

>>35553
Raised Episcopalian here, can confirm

>>35553
I mean, drug addiction is one thing. But this dudes bitch clogged the household plumping with her massive tub shits. Get this girl a bran muffin.

For me the situation is upside down compare to other Anons here- my mom is rather supportive, she is ig a bit weirded out by it like "very unusual, but you are my son, so I dont really care.."
My father doesn't know much about my preferences, but he is fatphobic for sure. He always comments about people behind their back, except if these people are close friends/family.

My dad can be quite fatphobic and snarky (he used to be overweight but got heavily into fitness), especially with heavy women. My mom's overweight and externalizes her woes onto other people in a concern troll-y way ("do better". My sis is chill beyond snide comments and being repulsed by my friend who has similar tastes but used to be kinda obnoxiously vocal about them.

In short, not amazing, but I feel like if I'm happy then that's what matters.

No one in my family seems to have any issue with my GF being fat (high 300s at the moment) outside of the health concerns, and even that isn't malicious, but rather comes from genuine concern stemming from the struggles some of my heftier relatives have had over the years. I got off pretty easy.

>>35570
Hea näha eestist siin kedagi. Meil küll väike valik siin neid kes oleks suuremad ja seda ise naudiks ega unistaks alla võtmisest..

>>36643
Oh võimas haha, ei noh seda küll, ehkki ma ütlesks, et meil ikka on ka neid suuremaid, eriti viimastel aastatel.
Fetiši kohapealt on sul õigus tho.

>>36644
Tere, mina olen ka eestlane. Olen läbi Tallinna Bumble’is ja Tinderis veidi swippinud, paksud või pluss-suuruses naised on atraktiivsed ja sportlikud. Ma kasvasin üles Kanadas, nii et meil on mõned eestlased, kes on võtnud üsna lääneliku dieedi.

Mu isamaa, mu õnn ja rõõm

>>36646
>kasvasin üles Kanadas

2.põlvkonna väliseestlane?

Anyway, ülimalt hea on teada, et ka rahvuskaaslaste seas on mulle sarnaseid inimesi. Üks asi on teada, et sa pole maailmas ainuke, hoopis teine on aga teada, et pole oma rahva seas/riigis ainuke haha

>Mu isamaa, mu õnn ja rõõm

Kui kaunis oled sa!!

>>36648
>põlvkonna väliseestlane?

Jah, mu emapoolne vanaema ja vanaisa immigreerusid 1940. aastatel Kanadasse.

I don't think that my parents will somehow be negative about me having a fat gf.

It was a long journey for me to accept my kink. I've dated several girls who were quite skinny. I've managed to get a strong emotional bond with those girls. Even in my best relationship where we understood each other at its best my gf weighted a little less than 100lbs, can you imagine? Ofc the sex aspect of this relationship was gradiually slowing down since we started dating. As we fell in love it was an easy thing, but time passed and I wasn't attracted at all. It as such a pain to have a bond, but the sex is an important thing.

Anyway somehow I became more confident in myselft and started meeting fat girls. I still feel a bit ashamed to be together with a fat girl together, holding hands. Other people opinions scare sometimes. But fuck it. I do love the chubbiness, the fat hanging belly, the fat rolls, the double chin, you get it...

I feel like I trapped myself. As a kid, I really hated fat people and talked all the time about how ugly and unhealthy they are. And my family thinks I still do (I do still think fat guys look bad). Even though I haven't said a negative word about them since puberty, when I got into fat girls, I feel like it would be such a shock and they would think of me completely differently.

>>36740
If you’re really desperate, date a borderline chubby girl and slowly plump her up overtime. If they can tell you really love her, that’s your alibi. “Yeah dad, she is gaining weight, but I just love her so much, I don’t have the heart to tell her, I’ve tried being nonchalant, but it isn’t working.”

that’s the angle I’d play. It will take 2 years, but it would be better than a lifetime of women you aren’t into.

I'm autistic so I told them years before I even started dating lol.

>>36810
Fellow autistic maple man. Honestly, I'm surprised my preferences are as DADT as they are; you'd think I'd have put my foot in mouth by now already

>>36794
I didn’t mean to but that’s what I did around my fatphobic parents.

I dated a few girls in high school who were just one gram below commenting on weight. Then as luck had it dated a girl pretty thin in college and now we’re married and she’s chubby.

Parents don’t say anything but that’s because they got to know her while thin. They probably don’t really notice sometimes out of inertia, probably at times realize she eats more than me and there is more of a gut now. Either way it was so gradual it just escapes too much thought from them.

Again it wasn’t any elaborate plan, but it’s kept them quiet and they are the type to drop comments on anyone who is 10 pounds overweight.

>>36881
That was my plan, but then I ended up falling in love with a hot fat chick who is super accomplished while she was finishing up her masters degree.

Now we have kids, dual income, own properties, leaders in the community and live a pretty awesome life. She’s always been fat and never tried to lose weight in our years together. Fat positive and all that.

My parents knew I liked fat chicks, but I always brought home awesome ones, so they eventually decided to just trust me on it. I’ve dated some amazing people and they are in love with my wife.

I can’t imagine not having a fat wife. My life would have sucked lol

>>36872
I remember asking my best friend who was fucking chicks in highschool to let me know if a fat girl wanted to fuck, at fucking 16 year old. Never hid it, never will fuck that.

>>34180 (OP)
My family would have been a nightmare of I dated a fat girl. Instead I married a thin girl, told her my preferences, and helped make her a fat ass. Now nobody says a peep about it. They're probably all saying wow poor anon he's stuck with that girl who blimped up so much, she's triple her original size. It doesn't bother her though so it's great. From time to time my dad disparages fat women on TV who are half my wife's size. Once I reminded him that the woman was smaller than my wife and he got really embarrassed and started backtracking hard.

My advice is to not care what anyone else thinks. At the end of the day you have to be happy with the choices you have made, and what other people think makes no difference in that. In fact, making choices based off of what other people might think or say is a near guaranteed way to make yourself miserable.

I have never cared what my family thought of my significant other, and once you are out of school (high school/college) there's really no consistent social presence to judge you.

My mom tells me "don't date fat girls, they have health problems!" so I'm not that different from a lot of you.

No, I've been a crazy loner for so long I could bring home an overweight, one-legged, troon (not that I would) and still get my parents approval