Sorry if this gets long.

Preface: been married for just about 10 years. My wife has always been on the thick side, around 170lbs, though she’s also taller, about 5’7. She’s gone up and down a bit over the years naturally to about 190. She got up to around 230 at her heaviest after she had each of our three kids. She successfully lost the weight every time. We had a talk after kid number two about her not losing the weight (she knows about my preference/fetish), but she was adamant she wanted to shrink back down and so I fully supported her. She’s very good at doing Weight Watchers.

Last year, she reached ~165 and was very proud of herself. Bought new clothes, etc. but since then the weight has sloooowly been creeping back. She mentioned as much a few weeks ago and decided to enjoy the summer and diet again in the fall. She’s probably in the upper 170’s again. During the discussion, I joked if there was another option where she doesn’t and she sort of blew it off, but asked me later why I’d want her to do something that would intentionally shorten her life. Didn’t have a good answer for her at the time. She mentioned again yesterday that she needed to lay off the ice cream because her shorts were feeling very tight.

I’ve always been supportive of what she wants because ultimately I love her very much (and even at 170 she's, to my mind, incredibly hot). But those extra 50 pounds post-birth were the greatest tease, and the fetish part of my brain is desperate to see her back there.

She’s always struggled with her weight. She has a big appetite but eats very healthy. I’ve been very good at keeping bad snacks out of the house (within reason). She hates the idea of gaining weight and has some deep-seated mental issues about it.

I don’t need or want to convince her to deliberately gain weight. I just want to be able to offer a hopefully compelling argument to her about not dieting again if it comes up and just letting nature take it course. Has anyone been here and succeeded?

>>33976 (OP)
putting aside your fetish, it is genuinely worse for your wifes health for her to yoyo the same 50 pounds than it is for her to remain stable at a higher weight. if she is eating healthily and exercising regularly at 200lbs for example (which is not even that high for someone who is 5'7), then it is likely that 200lbs is a healthy weight for her to be at.
but this is a very tough nut to crack, it doesnt matter how many studies you point to that confirm this (look up the "obesity paradox"), it is very hard to break through decades of societal conditioning that fat is the worst thing for your health in the world. it is even harder in the case where being fat negatively affects ones self esteem.

>>33976 (OP)
It’s not a deep seated mental issue lol, most people don’t like being fat and would rather be conventionally attractive.

But to answer your question. Be way more sexually actively and fuck more any time she is at her higher weights or even overeats/stuffed. Maybe she’ll associate or enjoy being heavier more if she gets constantly fucked and attention

The concepts you are looking for:

Health at any size

Metabolically healthy obese

Intuitive eating


She needs to serve her mental health, instead of suffering disordered patterns to theoretically maximize physical health.

The world's fucking dying anyway. Better to eat well while the food is still plentiful.

>>33989
>>34008
You don't need to gaslight her or manipulate her like these comments are suggesting... Just talk to her like an adult. The adult you're married to and have children with.

>>34011

This is terrible fucking advice OP. She already made clear getting your dick hard isn't enough. That part of the negotiation is closed. It's a shitty argument anyways.

If you want a change, her paradigm has to shift. She's not a unique snowflake. Look at how and why woman decide to remain fat. Hint - feederism ain't it.

But there are very good reasons to make the trade off. Body positivity thrives for a reason. If you want to play in that space, educate yourself. Then offer it to her. Reopen the negotiation from a position if strength.

OP here. Thanks everyone for the responses. Genuinely appreciate the insight and discussion here.

>>33982
The yo-yo dieting is definitely interesting. She's definitely been up and down over the years so that might be persuasive.

>>33989
Fair point about the deep-seated mental issues. I think I meant it more in the sense that her weight has been a topic of conversation within her family her whole life, so she's much more cognizant of it. As far as the sex goes, trust me, tried that.

>>34008
These are very helpful, thanks. She's definitely more bottom heavy, so I think MHO is compelling evidence here.

>>34011
For what it's worth, I did try that. However, she decided she still wanted to diet, so I got on board and helped out.

>>34028
That's an interesting point, and I definitely agree with the feederism point. She's made clear it's a turn-off for her, and I respect that. Can you go into a bit more detail about what you mean though? What do you mean there's good reasons to make the trade-off, and what would I be offering her? I'm happy to do the research, I'm just a bit unclear on what that looks like.

>>34030
Real question: are you a winner and is your wife attracted to you?
It sounds like you were a loser back burner bro who was just the best pick for a doormat to breed her and raise her kids.
Facts are she’s more interested in looking good for random men and is fine with your dick/sex-life taking one for the team.
I’d feel like a cuck loser. Does she even think you could pull random pussy if you wanted to get good fat girl sex again? Doesn’t sound like it.

>>34032
What the fuck are you talking about? This site is 18+ only kid go back to your YouTube shorts comments section

>>34030

The HAES and body positivity arguments are the most concise. In short, expending substantial energy fighting to stay thin, comes at the expense of living as a complete person.

The standards are propagated by corporate predators, looking to turn women's insecurity into profits. Why should a women let themselves be coerced into starvation diets and crushing exercise programs?

Better for a woman to embrace who they are and enjoy life. Share meals. Celebrate. Recapture time wasted in the gym. Celebrate the curvy body, as it is - a reflection of positive times with family and friends.

The feminist action, is to stop bowing to an artificial standard. Recognize that bodies come in all shapes and sizes. Acknowledge that mental health may not reflect walking around at a size 10. Family members who think otherwise are victims of the patriarchy. If they can't get with modern times, maybe it's time to distance from them.

Look to more objective measures of health. Walking regularly. Swimming. Taking yoga class. Eating "healthy". Good annual blood work. Etc. A doctor who wants to reduce her to a number on the scale, is being lazy.

Essentially you're giving her the tools to discount criticisms of carrying extra weight. Of course this also means you need to provide the support. An extra 50lbs is like hauling a 5 gallon jug of water around all day. It's not easy either.

So you've got to do the physical chores or hire them out. Replace her clothes before they're too tight. Give her ample opportunities to socialize in fat friendly environments. Go with her to the doctor. Be active together, but at her pace.

In parallel to all this, you can also occasionally indulge in some trigger adjacent activities, she denies herself. Get ice cream but the flavor she's not that into. Grab donut on the way home, but don't offer. Let her ask you to be included next time. Make being fat the more fun option.

>>34078
That dude probably refers to himself as "top G alpha dog" or some shit

>>34030
>For what it's worth, I did try that. However, she decided she still wanted to diet, so I got on board and helped out.

Well you are never going to successfully trick her or manipulate her or gaslight her into gaining. Unless she is completely retarded, but it doesn't sound like she is. You just have to be honest and talk to her. Not to be presumptive, but if you cannot speak to your wife honestly and lead the conversation to a satisfying conclusion, and if you're on a porn message board asking strangers how to speak to (and trick) your wife of 10 years and the mother of your children, then there's gotta be other, deeper issues in the marriage.

>>34084
Tone aside. His points are pretty much the facts.
Your wife not interested in making your dick happy. End of story.

>>34079

Thanks so much for this. I really like how you laid it out. There are a lot of great points in here, and I could see it being a very compelling argument.

As far as replacing her clothes go, do you have any suggestions there? If she does naturally continue to grow, should I just look to size up her current wardrobe without making a big deal out of it, or try to frame it some other way?

>>34095
I mean, I'm not trying to trick her into gaining or anything. Even if I were to convince her to skip the diet this time around (which I'm not optimistic about), there's no guarantee she continues to gain weight. We had an honest conversation about it in the past, and she decided wanted to lose weight. If a conversation about her weight or dieting comes up again, I just want to be able to make a persuasive case about why she should consider a different course of action this time around. Ultimately, it's her decision and I'll support whatever she decides. If she still wants to diet, so be it.

>>34011
I don’t think you know what “gaslight” means. It’s the internets new favorite buzzword but 90% of the time people don’t scab use it correctly

>>34102

It's not that she wants to lose weight. It's that she's unhappy about experiences in life and is seeking change. She's picked weight loss as the answer. It's probably a false idol and didn't resolve whatever she's unhappy about. That's why the weight comes back.

So your job is to uncover what is making her unhappy and find other ways to address it. Successfully keeping her fat is about being attentive and responsive. It's no fun if she's not happy. Maybe a little fun if you're into that sort of thing. But not sustainable.

Obviously you can't buy all her clothes one size bigger and switch out the tags. But you can provide support if she outgrows things. Encourage picking up a new outfit for an event. Concede even if it's temporary, there's no reason she shouldn't be comfortable and wear something she likes. Dresses are a great option, because they are less sensitive to weight fluctuations. Same with very stretchy denim and yoga pants. Don't lose sight of underwear/ bras either. They are stupidly expensive and can quickly become constraining.

At her size, you could pop into local clothing stores. There's a tough barrier looming though, where she crosses from regular to plus sizes. If you can get / keep her ordering online, that's much easier to navigate. Outgrowing in store sizes is a challenging transition.

In short - You make her life better, to make her fatter.

>>34102
Look man, you asked for her to lean into what you’re attracted to, she said no (and all you asked is she relax on and enjoy food).
She’s probably happy with the support he provides, with the family life and all, but making this guy attracted to her is not a priority, at all.
She’d rather be relatively thin, getting checked out by random men more than her husband.

He asked, she said no. Next question is: are you willing to step out on your marriage? If not, guess you gotta take what she gives you.

No matter what arguments show up here, no matter how compelling they are, I doubt any of them will work because it doesn't sound like your wife has any interest in putting on weight at the moment.

Your best hope is to just be supportive of your wife, whether or not she puts on weight. Just make her happy and comfortable. If at some point she doesn't feel like putting up with dieting all the time, then good for you.

>>34112

This is work on himself territory. The type of man who's married to a happy fat chick, behaves a certain way. Become that, and the weight follows. Whether it's this woman or the next. Passively sitting by while his wife starves into a waif, is giving up on life.

It's no different than settling for a miserable fat chick who hates herself. Behave as the peer of the woman you want to be with. Ether she'll rise to the occasion or you'll be prepared to move on.

I'm assuming this is obvious - but OP needs to figure out her best sex and deal that in the regular too. When she starts seeking to reciprocate, that's when you start winning. Make your attention crack to her.

>>33976 (OP)
Idk, just like introduce her to architecture and healthy gaining I guess.

>>34104
>>34104
>It's that she's unhappy about experiences in life and is seeking change
because of the weight. it isn't easy being fat

>>34123
This is the truth. Work on yourself, get in shape.
This woman obviously sees you as a loser and isn’t acting like she’s attracted to you, or really likes you much.
No woman wants to be fat AND married to an unattractive loser. One or the other is fine.

>>34126

But what about the weight is a problem? Is she trying to win a marathon or climb a mountain? Probably not.

Most likely it's some social factor, that can be addressed in other ways. Maybe she feels inadequate at work or that becoming a mother ruined her body.

The fix could be as simple as complimenting her daily. Or making a point to ditch the kids and go show her off.

Nobody is psyched to do weight watchers. That's a band aid for some other unmet need. Could be she doesn't know how else to meet friends her age. I don't know her to say. But OP does!

>>34133
Maybe she just doesn’t think highly of fat people. She cares about her standing among freind and family who see fat people as lazy gluttons, which they are.
Maybe being attractive to this guy has never been a priority to her. Imagine how big a bitch this dude is that 3 babies into the relationship he finally nutted up and told her what his dick wants.

>>34134
Imagine being this big a bitch to bring up your fetish “as a joke” and get shut down, shamed and come to bbwchan asking for support:
“I joked if there was another option where she doesn’t and she sort of blew it off, but asked me later why I’d want her to do something that would intentionally shorten her life. Didn’t have a good answer for her at the time.”

There’s a good answer: because it makes me hard and then I cum buckets.

>>34133
i was going to tell you off but then i double checked what her weight is, and she's not even obese. being obese is miserable
>>34102
with that in mind, AND that she's bottom heavy (gynoid fat isn't a health issue) just show her a BMI chart and come to a compromise. orange is danger zone that starts affecting lifespan (obesity), yellow is totally fine in her case
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/cc/BMI_chart.png

OP again. Thanks everyone for your input.

>>34104
Thanks for this, I appreciate the advice, especially the potential pitfalls of clothes. I think that’s very much “cross that bridge if we get there territory” though. As far as why she wants to lose weight, she’s said previously it primarily comes down to her literally feeling better when she’s not as heavy. But maybe there’s something to the unhappiness angle. I think she’s self-conscious around her friends, who are generally skinny. Trying to be more attentive though certainly can’t hurt.

>>34112
I’m very much in agreement and expect this to be the outcome. Obviously I’m willing to try and see if maybe she’s tired of dieting and some of these arguments are persuasive enough to give her pause, but if that’s what she wants to do then I’ll definitely support her.

>>34133
Definitely some social factors at play. She’s always been curvy, and we don’t live in an area that’s exactly brimming with overweight women. I think it’s that plus her family and doctors always commenting on her weight. I think/hope I give her plenty of compliments — I love her curves, even in her skinnier periods. But I’ll definitely try to give her a bit more attention and see what happens.

I’m not looking for her to try and deliberately gain weight. She’s not into it and I don’t blame her — if she asked me to gain on purpose, I’d say no, too. I’m not interested in it, and I think it’s perfectly rational and sensible for her to feel the same way. All I’m looking for is tips on changing her perspective about dieting and potentially her body naturally putting on some additional weight as a result. I’ve gotten some great feedback here I really appreciate, so thank you for that.

As a fat woman, who has been fat for life, and used to hate myself (and other fat people) more than anything. the sad truth is that you cannot change your wife, it has to come from her. on its own, being fat is neutral, but even though I like myself more now, it can still be painful.
being unable to do active activities with friends (though this is more because im incredibly depressed and never exercise than just because im fat), outgrowing clothes and never feeling like they fit you in a way that is flattering, being unable to get any treatment at the doctors because they just recommend you to lose weight, being laughed at and sneered at in public, being catcalled (in a mocking way, though both ways suck). even though ive taken the HAES and fat acceptance pill, I can jack off to a woman who is just as fat as me, and think shes the sexiest woman in the world, and still feel deeply unnattractive, I cant imagine anyone unironically finding me attractive.
i think the best course of action is to try to get your wife to be more gentle and kind to herself and her body. weightwatchers sucks, its a diet (npi) eating disorder. offer to exercise together, go on walks, pick up a sport, go swimming together, things like that. dieting is unironically awful for your health, so offer to eat and cook healthily with her instead. in a nutshell, just offer to do positive things to be healthy together, rather than negative things

>>34148
>though this is more because im incredibly depressed and never exercise than just because im fat
those are actually connected. obesity causes depression without considering social factors
>even though ive taken the HAES [...] pill
why? it's just not true, and you seem to notice it. accepting yourself is crucial to make positive change, but that means you must be honest with yourself
>being unable to get any treatment at the doctors because they just recommend you to lose weight
a lot of the time that's a legitimate recommendation. obesity causes a plethora of diseases or makes treatment for diseases harder. especially with age
>[...] things like that. dieting is unironically awful for your health, so offer to eat and cook healthily with her instead. in a nutshell, just offer to do positive things to be healthy together, rather than negative things
great advice. it's all about lifestyle change, having a sensible relationship to food. having to go on "diets" on and off is absurd and likely bad for health, yes
even though i obviously love fat women, i hope you eventually find a good way to come to terms with yourself and lose weight to improve your health,
i genuinely wish you the best. you seem to be hurting a lot?..

>>34147

Feels better when thin is not specific.

Could it be exercise releases dopamine and she enjoys the high / mood stabilizer?

Or maybe when her wife rebounds, it's in reaction to the overly strict diet? So she houses crap food, sending her blood sugar and digestion into chaos?

What if she had a more balanced pattern, with light exercise and a lot of high quality health affirming food?

Fat is hormonally active, but your wife is young and carrying relatively little.

>>34148

OP - the problems she describes are where / why as a partner, there's heavy lifting to be done. Assuming this poster has an authentic perception of her size, she's significantly larger than your wife. A committed partner could substantially improve her quality of life.

A simple example - going with to the doctor. Presence of another person can be enough to cut the weight loss bullshit. More so if you have the confidence to act as an advocate, taking her side both during and after.

Sometimes it's easier to change the behavior first. Then eventually the feelings follow. Behave as if...

But again, your wife is hardly fat. These sorts of problems must be rare in her life. I'm coming from a perspective where 300lbs+ is preferred. I want to be around when clothes are out grown, she doesn't fit, the doctor shames, etc. It's hot to me.

So to get someone willing to play that game, my skills in caring for them have to be on point. The extra 20lbs your wife is holding ought to be easy lifting. An extra 200lbs is my preference.

Just expose her daily to her favorite high sugar/fat food, she won't be able to lose a pound and will end up gaining weight instead.

>>34157

This is a naive short term strategy. It can work, but failure is messy, especially with the prior conversation history. If she decides he's being controlling and doesn't respect her bodily autonomy, the path forward becomes much more difficult.

You need to create opportunities for her to choose the fattening food. Take a hot walk, stop for an iced tea. If she chooses a sweet coffee, that's on her. Hit a party, but bring a veggie plate and some white claws. If she's digging into the pizza after a couple drinks, again on her.

You could watch a video about flavored macarons around her. Ask if she's ever tried them. Leave it at that, but keep the seed planted. Eventually she'll see them and remember you were curious.

Gotta make their life better, if you want to keep them engaged.

>>33976 (OP)

>During the discussion, I joked if there was another option where she doesn’t and she sort of blew it off, but asked me later why I’d want her to do something that would intentionally shorten her life. Didn’t have a good answer for her at the time.

I can't come up with a good answer other than not having to watch what you eat along with looking more feminine (pears only).


>>34147

>As far as why she wants to lose weight, she’s said previously it primarily comes down to her literally feeling better when she’s not as heavy.

I relate to this, if you have experienced being slim its hard to feel comfortable having even a bit of chub. Buy i'm a guy, perhaps it feels different for women (especially those who have been fat their whole life) since their center of balance are their hips and not their shoudlers.

>>33982
This post is completely fucking wrong and unscientific.
1. "The obesity paradox", which btw is not even reliably reproducible, is only applies to a broad study of what weight class of patients is more likely to survive hospital visits, without taking into account why they're in the hospital or how often they're in the hospital. The "paradox" is a result of two factors: 1) Fatter patients are more likely to survive wasting diseases 2) thin patients are more likely to be in the hospital due to a serious, life-threatening reason, whereas fat patients are more likely to be in the hospital for mundane weightgain complications

Look up the "ciriticisms" section here
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obesity_paradox

Here is a Nature editorial about it
https://www.nature.com/articles/ijo201799/

2. Yo-yo dieting isn't actually bad for you at all. That's a myth. Here is a normie blog summarizing research on the matter.
https://blog.biotrust.com/yo-yo-dieting-myth/#:~:text=Hopefully%2C%20you%20are%20walking%20away%20with%20a%20handful,potential%20negative%20effects%20of%20weight%20cycling.%20More%20items

Please can we not spread cringey delusional HAES pseudoscience just because we like fatties? OP's wife needs to be able to make an informed choice about her health.

>>34008
Do you faggots really believe this delusional tumblr shit?

>>33976 (OP)
OP. Do not listen to any of these people. They're all delusional. HAES is just false and manipulating her with these false narratives so she can't make a real decision about her weight just to keep your dick hard would make you a shitty husband. There is simply no convincing your wife not to diet if that's what she thinks is best for her health. All you can do is make it clear that you find her beautiful at her weight, and DO NOT frame it as a fetish, because that will only make her feel more like a freak and like you're prioritizing your dick over her autonomy. Frame it as if you really find her beautiful and womanly as she is, but you'll support her either way. Since she brought up her life span, it sounds like this is a health matter for her, so don't listen to these wannabe Top-Gs suggesting that she's trying to please other men. They are schizos. If this is about her health, don't bother talking her out of it and DO NOT straightup fucking lie to her about biology to get your way as all of these psychos are suggesting.

The real solution: In all honesty, she's probably going to keep yo-yoing and then eventually give up. She's not at an age where people realistically can change their habits this drastically, and you've already said that she keeps gaining weight back. So don't worry about it. She'll probably stay fat. It is NOT WORTH risking her trust in you by pulling any of these stunts.

>>34100
>if your wife isn't willing to become immobile to please you, she doesn't really love you
Would you be willing to become obese for your wife? What if her fetish was amputees, would you chop your arms off?

>>34166

I wanna fuck happy fat chicks. Knowing Linda Bacon is now Lindo, makes it easy.

>>34165
>>34166
>>34167
you're the first sane leafposter i've ever seen
>Please can we not spread cringey delusional HAES pseudoscience just because we like fatties?
sadly many retards on this site seem not able to separate the two
sad truth for them is that a good relationship can't centre around a fetish. vast majority of morbidly obese women are either stupid or mentally ill and can only serve as cum dumpsters. if you truly love her, helping her become healthy together is the only path forward for it to last. like OP said, she will still be very hot to you even if "only" overweight
for the discussion: keep in mind what >>34135 said; OPs wife isn't even obese

>>34169
lot of people here with no experience with women or marriage.
A) Lack of attraction will make marriage miserable
B) That bitch you’re calling sane conflated 200 pounds with immobile. Consider the idiots you call sane are just as unsuccessful of losers as you are.
C) This guy is obviously an unattractive beta whose wife doesn’t like him much. Anyone whose been with a woman that likes them can smell this from a mile away.

>>34169
That's honestly been so conflicting about this fetish is it genuinely is near impossible to have a good relationship that centers around it. Exactly like you said, the vast majority of morbidly obese women are stupid or mentally ill, and they pretty much all loathe their bodies.

It's kinda like dating someone with an extreme drug addiction and expecting them not to be incredibly psychologically damaged. Like you don't end up that way because your brain is functioning properly.

>>34169
>keep in mind what >>34135 said
meant >>34137 *
>>34170
>A) Lack of attraction will make marriage miserable
i am really stating the obvious: sex is not primarily driven by lust in developed marriages. why do you think old people stay around for each other?
>B) That bitch you’re calling sane conflated 200 pounds with immobile
for a leaf*. no he did not. he replied to someone else and used a hyperbole relevant to some people in here to make a point
>C) This guy is obviously an unattractive beta whose wife doesn’t like him much.
no it isn't obvious, and unironically throwing around 'beta' doesn't help your case
i do agree that OPs communication with his wife seems a little bit awkward and constrained. that's the presumption since he's asking a porn imageboard for help on how to move forward about an intimate but pretty basic topic by his third child. but fair enough
in terms of what he should there really isn't much more to it than the replies that weren't from incel feeder fantasy autists:
1. establish a more open and intimate communication. 2. do not be afraid to reassure her, make absolutely sure that she knows that you love her body and curves. make her feel beautiful and confident. 3. inform her that as long as she doesn't get to obesity territory her health isn't at risk. especially since the reproductive polyunsaturated fatty acids in female fat distribution (ass, hips, thighs, breasts) doesn't pose ANY threat. WHILE reassuring her that you also don't want her to be obese for health reasons, and actively engage and work together on sustainable lifestyle changes to stabilize her weight
as far as the lifestyle changes, going on a diet is NOT what i mean. dieting is almost never successful over time. small incremental changes that you intend to keep doing forever almost always is. since you mentioned that portion control and not the food is the problem (elaborate and what you guys eat if you can), focus on eating slowly, less often, roughly keeping track of nutritional facts and developing a less emotional mindset around food. remember that it's normal and GOOD to be hungry.
something like that....

>>34179
A) lack of attraction leads to a majority of marriages going thru divorce and cheating.
B) “unironically throwing around 'beta' doesn't help your case” is the most beta comment ever
C) good points, Plenty of articles on pubmed on topics like: lower body subcutaneous adipose tissue as a free fatty acid sink preventing diabetes, wider hips = healthy heart and smarter kids, general morbidly by bmi groups is flat up to morbid obesity, even still the morbidity rate isn’t really that much worse than sitting at a desk all day.
I’d add logic can only get you so far. Get in shape, have style, be the winner. Cook dinner regularly and make it hearty. Women don’t want to feel like they gave up on trying and are just some fat mom but make it easier for her.

>>34150
>why? it's just not true
It's not true that fat people benefit from exercise and healthy eating? thats all that HAES means.
>a lot of the time that's a legitimate recommendation. obesity causes a plethora of diseases or makes treatment for diseases harder. especially with age
sure, I'm not denying that. but if say, a patient comes in with high blood pressure, is it more helpful to tell them to 'lose weight' or to try to get 30 minutes of light cardio exercise a day? it seems obvious but doctors dont even bother asking about your diet and exercise anymore before shilling WLS or drugs. theres also more serious things like doctors ignoring patients concerns that end up having cancer.
>i genuinely wish you the best. you seem to be hurting a lot?..
thank you, im mostly ok nowadays. i actually ordered a stepper so I can get my 10000 steps in a day, i dont not want to be fat but I do want to lose a little bit of weight

OP again. I’ve got to say, I never expected my post to turn into such an interesting discussion. Thank you to (mostly) everyone who’s chimed in. There’s been some really good points/counter-points and I appreciate them all very much.

A few too many posts for me to go one-by/one, so I’ll try to keep this relatively brief: I really appreciate the information about gynoid adipose tissue, as she is definitely more pear-shaped as far as her curves go right now. As far as HAES goes, she’s basically living that right now: very healthy eater with a bit of a sweet tooth and constant appetite that she manages, active person who exercises regularly. I may mention it in passing if the opportunity arises but I don’t think I’m going to lean into it too hard, either. Those are both exactly the sort of things I was looking for to educate myself about.

I don’t plan on trying to just buy sweets and leave them around the house. Like someone said, she would immediately catch on to that and get upset. She’s told me she doesn’t want me doing that so I respect it. I think some other suggestions about trying to make things communal, like getting ice cream together or doing stuff for myself and exposing her to it could help, though.

I also have a lot of inner turmoil about this fetish. Many days, I think it sucks that I can’t turn off the primal part of my brain that wishes she was fatter. But that’s life I guess.

I do try to communicate a lot with my wife, and I honestly think that’s why I’m here now: we’ve talked plenty about her weight, and she’s been open and honest throughout about her desires to stay close to 170. As her husband, I feel like it’s my job to be supportive of her, even if it doesn’t mesh with my fetish — I love her and I want her to be happy. But I’m of a mind that there’s a middle-ground in my relationship that could be a win-win for the two of us. And that’s why I’m here.

I’ve seen more than a few posts suggest I should try and compliment her a lot and be really attentive to her. I like to think I do well there, but I’m going to really try and turn that up a few levels (without going completely overboard) for the next while and see what happens. I’m also going to try and steer clear of bringing up her weight or anything adjacent to it (clothes, etc) unless she brings it up. Not that I bring it up often anyway, but I’ll try and be a little extra cool on the subject. Again, my objective here is to try and get her to avoid dieting and see where her body naturally takes her. But it’s really good for me to keep that in mind: never stop trying to wow her, basically.

Some posted on here that there’s really not much I can do and this is truly going to come down to her, and I think I mostly agree with that. But at the least I’d like to try and reframe her perspective a bit.

Finally, I wrestled a lot with whether I should even mention the cuck/beta/loser comments, and I guess as a blanket statement I’ll just say this: there’s nothing I can write here that’s going to change your mind about me, so if that’s how you feel, by all means, have at it. I came here because I was looking for perspectives from people who are hard-wired like me. If I went somewhere like Reddit, I’d be told to support my wife’s diet and be done with it.

Thanks again everyone for the support and feedback. I’ve read every comment and feel a lot more prepared, but if anyone has any other thoughts please send them my way.

If you want to lean into the compliments thing, you could take the time to figure out her love languages. If she's not a words of praise person, they may not work.

You could get really nuts and go through the current top marriage books:

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work - Gottman

Hold Me Tight - Sue Johnson

They could be better sources than a porn board. As a bonus, you could level up sex skills by working through the book Come as You Are.


There's no undoing the fetish wiring, so you gotta build the tools to satisfy it. Though hanging out here only serves to escalate, in my experience. It's a strong reminder there are women prepared to fully indulge it.

Or you use shit like calorie restriction and excessive exercise to kill your sex drive. But that fucking sucks. And as soon as you lay off, the urges come right back.

>>34199
This guy is so sad.
I didn’t want to agree with the beta comments but reading this post.
Young men do anything you can to avoid growing up to become this sad sack of excuses and long winded paragraphs that go nowhere.

>>34199

Well that's that, then.

My advice: keep your fetish to the realm of porn and enjoy a healthy, loving relationship with your wife where you don't convince her to put on weight.

As far as I can tell from your posts, you don't have any avenues open to you that don't involve sucking it up or destroying your marriage. She knows what you like and isn't interested in that lifestyle at all. You've both communicated openly here; there's a fundamental disconnect.

If your interest in fat women is so strong that you need to resort to extreme manipulation just for your own sexual fulfillment (as people on this board want you to do), I'd suggest that the less damaging option for everyone is for you to leave your wife and marry somebody fatter. Half of the suggested shit here will lead to a messy divorce eventually anyway, so just rip it off and be done.

It would be an easy choice for me, stay with the attentive, loving wife and use the endless bounty of the internet to quell my kinks. That's the best compromise.

>>34213
He doesn’t have a loving wife tho. She doesn’t trust him and kinda despises him based on what he wrote, that’s outside of not wanting her husband attracted. She doesn’t trust him and frames it as he’s trying to kill her.

>>34214

I'll be honest I skimmed OP's last post a little. My impression was that their relationship was good except for the glaring part where she really, really doesn't like the idea of being fat, and he has a fat fetish so hard that he's asking ibternet strangers for advice on how to get her to change her mind. And he's tried all the obvious, innocent things which she's having absolutely none of.

Whether or not there's any love presebt, the options are still the same. Either stay in your current relationship and be content with the fact that your wife won't be getting fat any time soon (and even she does will hate every minute of it, and probably resent you for enjoying it) or else end the relationship and find somebody more compatible.

OP's in this pretty deep though, he has three kids with this woman. I get the desperation here, but from what I'm hearing there's basically no chance that this woman is gonna be chill with putting on weight. And that's fine. Not everyone is. So really, this situation is completely on OP for marrying a (relatively) thin woman when he had a raging fat fetish.

Let this be a lesson to everyone else reading along: only marry somebody you're fundamentally compatible with from the start. For god's sake, don't let shame keep you from bringing home a fat woman.

>>34213
>It would be an easy choice for me, stay with the attentive, loving wife and use the endless bounty of the internet to quell my kinks. That's the best compromise.

In other words, form a porn addiction as a crutch for coping with his boring sex life? That doesn't sound healthy.

OP, I don't think divorce is a good choice, like a lot of people are suggesting. It's hard for me to justify ruining your life and your three kids lives over this, and there's a low chance that your post-divorce life would be full of banging hot BBWs anyway, since middle-aged single dads aren't exactly a hot commodity. But resigning yourself to a dead bedroom isn't a good option either. A dead bedroom will lead to infidelity, either through porn, an affair of the heart, or a true affair.

>>34241
>Let this be a lesson to everyone else reading along: only marry somebody you're fundamentally compatible with from the start. For god's sake, don't let shame keep you from bringing home a fat woman.

For anybody else reading, this guy is right. Sexual compatibility is extremely important in a marriage. You're not gonna get a medal for taking one for the team and marrying someone cause of who she is on the inside.

OP, my advice is to give it some time to breath. Marriage is a lifelong thing, and a year or two is not a lot of time in the big picture. And it sounds like "my wife isn't fat" is not the biggest problem in this marriage. Sounds like you guys aren't as close as you could be (you're getting marriage advice from strangers on a porn board instead of talking to her), and it sounds like you aren't explaining yourself to her very well (you brought this up as a joke, and didn't have any answer when she responded).

Work on those underlying issues first. Learn how to explain yourself with confidence. Be more open and honest with her about other shit and build a stronger emotional connection with her. Become more of a man, so that she'll respect you and be attracted to you and admire you.

Does she owe it to you to get fatter? Within reason. I don't think it's fair to ask her to get huge if she doesn't want to. But a little bit of weight is a reasonable ask. Husband and wife owe a bit of their appearance to their spouse. E.g. if she asked you to shave your mustache, or cut your long hair, or change the clothes you wear, etc, I think that's reasonable. I see this as basically the same thing.

Finally, let me reiterate: leaving candy around the house, or bringing home extra ice cream, or avoiding bring her weight up, in the hopes that she'll accidentally fatten up, is not going to work. Sorry, but that's pathetic.

Anyway, good luck OP.

>>34253
>For anybody else reading, this guy is right. Sexual compatibility is extremely important in a marriage. You're not gonna get a medal for taking one for the team and marrying someone cause of who she is on the inside.
Dead bedroom anon here, from the big marriage thread a couple of months ago. I don't have much to add to this thread but wanted to cosign this point.

>>34199
OP let’s get some facts straight, do you even deserve a fat chick:
-Fitness: are you in shape? Can you throw a fat woman across the room
-Career: Are you killing it enough to afford fat lady clothes, lodging and accommodations as well as eating well, not candy and fast food, classy shit women get wet for. Does she work a job where being fatter will be a problem?
-General Husband Duty: Do you do all the physical labor: with the kids and yard, and heavy things at least.

All you guys opposed to a little subtle fattening, ought to give it a try. Just like 10lbs she doesn't expect. The experience is excellent. Both the added weight and the power play. It's divine.

Fair warning - you probably won't stop at 10. Once you get good at this, it's easy. Women are meant to be fat. All they need is the opportunity.

>>34265
If you can't throw a 400 lb woman like a baseball what are you even doing in life

>>34273
Maybe but deadlifting 400 isn’t a hard goal and could come in handy.

>>34253

>A dead bedroom will lead to infidelity, either through porn, an affair of the heart, or a true affair.

I agree with you on all counts except the one where porn is infidelity.

Or rather, that porn is automatically infidelity. I'm in a healthy marriage with a good sex life, and we have a standing agreement that if somebody isn't in the mood for (or can't have) sex but the other person is, then porn (or erotic literature) is an acceptable outlet for that person. Frankly, this works for both of us, and probably improves our sex lives.

>>33976 (OP)
Hi,
the past hour i read through all the comments to understand whats going on.
Alot of good tips and tricks and usefull comments but the only thing that comes to my mind is why you married an "non fat" woman in the first place and even made 3 kids?

>>34265
Men are really out here brainwashing themselves that they have to be 10/10s in every way to get a woman with the most societally undesirable body type. This is why the dating market is so fucked up.

>>34170
>That bitch you’re calling sane conflated 200 pounds with immobile

Average bbw-chan reading comprehension. I was just showing how insane this "if you really loved me you'd alter your body in unhealthy ways that you're not comfortable with" premise is.

>>34385
No. But it’s easier to get you skinny wife to intentionally get fat when you’re making it easier for her to be fat.
>>34387
Cope harder. This hyperbole is just crabs in a bucket. You’re comparing apples and oranges and then bitching when you got called out for being dramatic.
Being 250 pounds of fat woman isn’t much more unhealthy than dieting hard to be skinny or piling on muscle as a guy, which are normal enough expectations in relationships.

>>34392
>Being 250 pounds isn’t much more unhealthy than being skinny

Ah okay, so you're just completely fucking retarded, gotcha

I think at the end of the day you all are forgetting that being fat, especially if you don't LIKE being fat, is uncomfortable. It hurts. Nothing fits right and you're sweaty all of the time.

She has three kids and wants to be active enough to keep up with them. Y'all are nuts. OP needs to lay off and buy a fleshlight or sleep with a fat chick who isn't his wife.

>>34481

1/3 of the US is obese. Another 1/3 is overweight. If fat was that uncomfortable, the stats would be different. For most people, eating is more fun than being thin. All OP needs is to lightly tip his wife's scale.

It's not like we're saying tie her down for a nightly tube feeding. Just string together a targeted series of consensual acts.

>>34551
Yeah, and about half of all adults have some sort of chronic condition. What's your point? Clearly it wouldn't be consensual.

OP should just sew his oats on some willing rando instead of ruining his wife's life. Feabie's full of desperate women who would gladly fuck a father of three of it meant they got a free meal and a hotel stay.

>>33976 (OP)
no matter what path you take you're going to end up fucking with her in some way. You'll disregard the fact that she has "something" against gaining weight (read: common fucking sense, we are not normal) and breach that trust for your dick's sake.

I don't want to question your love for your wife, because im a random chumfuck newfag who stumbled across this board looking for a bbw wg mod, but you have to realize there is logically no possible world where you get what you want with your wife, and she doesn't get her will suffocated by your desires. The only way you get what you want is by actively suppressing what she wants and overwriting her desires with what you want.

Having a wife who knows what you're into, is willing to keep her weight at an above-average point JUST for your sexual gratification, and yet you still want more? Even though you - per your own words - find her incredibly hot at 170? And, nevermind even that she isn't into it as you are, yet still does it for you; she's even begun asking you why you want her to do something that would intentionally shorten her life? You can't honestly believe that this isn't the biggest fucking warning that you're pushing it too far, right? You're not that deluded by that fucking little demon telling you to make her fatter that you'd throw away a marriage of ten years and three of your progeny over temptation, are you?

She might still come to detest you with how you're encouraging her to gain weight, but trying to do whatever the fuck it is you're asking here is a great way to immediately fuck up this incredible thing you've got going. I get it, I really do; you wake up one day, and the "limit" that you were totally happy with for months on end is no longer satisfying. But in case you've forgotten, the fetish is about hedonism and gluttony; that "feeling" of dissatisfaction is effectively a withdrawal effect. You're gonna have to either learn to live with it, for the sake of your wife and your children, or you're going to sow seeds of misery that will be later reaped as death and despair.

I don't know how much she loves you, but if she's willing to do so much for you - even sacrifice her health, her comfort, and her body, not even for your sake, but purely for your hedonistic satisfaction - then for the love of God and all things that are good, don't break her will.

>>34551
>If fat was that uncomfortable, the stats would be different.
it's an addiction, retard
>>34558
>>34564
amen

>>34564
Seriously, posts like these make me glad I just live with the fact that my wife is willing to have an extra 15 pounds or so into the “chubby” territory. If it were full on obesity for my sake (she’s naturally thin) I know it’d turn into a whipsaw of my lust balanced against blame, worry, and resentment. I’m not horny enough to want to deal with that.

>>34590
Dude. Could you hate yourself some more.
People here acting like the majority of this country isn’t fat as shit.
Just cheat on your wife with a fat woman.

>>34564
The yoyo dieting his wife is doing is far worse for her than just staying fat and always results in a person ending up bigger than they were before. Also 170 is pretty much the average weight fir a woman in America

>>34641
No it isn't. "Yoyo dieting", a.k.a. being fucking normal, a.k.a. doing the exact thing people have been doing throughout the entire history of human existence, is completely normal. It is the very epitome of normal.

When a mother gives birth and has a husband by her side, what do you think happened to her, historically? She'd gain weight - typically lots of it - and losing it wouldn't be so easy, post-pregnancy. And of course, throughout a marriage, in easier and calmer times, the wife often gains weight, while during harder and more work-requiring times, she would lose it. The exact same happens to the man, too.

Yoyo dieting is only a bad thing if it's a "yoyo diet" because of stress. If you're so stressed out, that you're eating like a pig and scarfing down unhealthy shit, then yeah, yoyo dieting will be bad; but do some basic logic here. That isn't because of the yoyo dieting; it's because of your dogshit diet.

Now OP's wife, according to OP, makes a concerted effort to eat healthy. OP himself explicitly said that he keeps unhealthy food out of the house. His wife is gaining weight because she just has a big appetite. She's still eating healthy, and not at the behest of stress, but simply her own will.

Now, if it ends up with her being bigger than before, then do a little dance and cheer for OP getting what he wanted without having to change the routine his wife agreed upon. It's still not a good thing, mind you, because the wife said she wants to be thin and healthy, and obviously has some qualms about him wanting her bigger over her health (the whole "why do you want something that intentionally shortens my life" question). Still, I know you guys very well; you're like politicians. It's all about plausible deniability. So if you want it, that's how you get it.

But nothing about any of these cases that you've raised make it better for her to just gain weight to OP's lusty whims. Staying fat or yoyo dieting, the point is that she wants to remain at 170, and - judging by what she's said, according to OP - would likely prefer to just be skinny, or properly fit.

Lastly,
>170 is pretty much the average weight fir a woman in America
So what? What about that physical fact justifies him fattening his wife more than the "average"? You can't derive an "ought" from an "is". Just because it IS the case that 170 is the average, does not - in ANY world - mean that he OUGHT to fatten her more. Bunch of gobbledygook.

>>34640
You're accusing someone of hating himself because he refuses to make his wife obese due to the guilt it would cause? Do you lack self-awareness? Do you realize that this is an explicitly immoral fetish?

>>34697
Your judgements are reductionistic. It depends on the person really.

Obesity is not black-and-white and getting fat just off honey and puns vs. lots of nutrient packed soups and cheeses and wine is another thing altogether. And having a huge beer gut of visceral fat only is much different from being a pear with subcutaneous fluff.

Wife-fattening is "lindy", as the autistic twitteroids say now. Literal eons and entire cultures behind it, even to HELP fertility. You act like he is trying to render her immobile.

>>34697
Oy dieting is not normal at all. Going from 170-230 is not normal for a pregnancy at all att that point your a very high risk of developing temporary diabetes 60 pounds is Far from a health amount of weight to gain from a pregnancy its also not normal to go from being pregnant to immediately trying to lose weight a woman's body is at its frailest point after childbirth along with her mind that's the stress yo yo dieting i was talking about pre6gains and losses are the literal definition of strees induced gains or losses

>>34701
*yoyo

Buncha bro science from fat haters.

Have you all seen a 170lb woman? At 5' 7" - that looks fit. Maybe she doesn't have six pack, but it's absurd to complain about weight related health implications.

OP ought to post a body shot of his wife. I guarantee she's smaller than 99% of the bbw boards.

>>34701
You're actually right about pregnancy, my mistake; my retard mind was basing a lot of what I was saying off of old HAES rhetoric that I'd eaten like slop and regurgitated while growing up.

Also a good point about yoyo dieting not being normal or healthy. I was so focused on the mental state that I forgot that there's an actual physical byproduct of constant weight gain and weight loss fluctuations, i.e. physical stress. Though that does kind of give support to my overall statement of "being fat is unhealthy" in general; perhaps it's bad to have such fluctuating weight, but I can't see a world wherein having fluctuating weight is somehow better than just... being obese.

According to OP, his wife goes from 170 to 230 and back. Also according to OP, the "fetish part of [his] brain is desperate to see her back there." So, using OP's own words, if the argument here is that she is somehow healthier remaining at 230 pounds, as opposed to yoyo dieting... well, frankly, I'm not her dietician, and I don't know her body as well as she does. I'm going to assume that it's unhealthier to be 230 than to yoyo, and - judging by her dietary habits, as laid out by OP - it seems much more likely that she would succumb to gaining more weight if she was heavier, rather than have the capacity to stay at such a weight. Whose to say that OP's own self-control won't crack, and he'd try to push her above and beyond? I imagine seeing your fattened wife always overeating would definitely have some kind of sandpapering effects on your willpower.

So apologies for being dramatically wrong about pretty much the entire first half of my response, but I think the latter part of the first half has some truth to it, still. She wants to remain at 170; hubby should be doing what he can to help her remain there, rather than just opening the floodgates. Even if it means she yoyo's, I'm sure she would love him far more if he were her guardian against her own temptations, rather than a devil exerting his own temptations onto her; or even some passive middle-man who just "let things happen". A marriage is for a man and a woman to better each other and become more virtuous by pushing one another to be better and better. It's not just some outlet for hedonism.

>>34700
As I said literally one sentence prior to the last in my previous reply, the way the world IS does not equate to how the world OUGHT to be. A fawn dies in a forest fire with a burning tree branch stabbing its hind, pinning it to the ground as it slowly chars to death; as tragic as an event, there is nothing innate within that event which is "evil". Just as, thousands of years of history wherein chubby or fat women are venerated as fertility idols means literally nothing in terms of moral values.

I don't really know what the fuck "lindy" means, after searching it up all I could see is that it roughly equates to, "something hasn't fucked up yet, therefore it shouldn't fuck up for a while". But to take the best interpretation, even if we are to assume that fattening your wife somehow has some positive result for sex, or fertility, or what-have-you; none of this equates to any sort of moral imperative. So it might help with sex, because ooga booga, man like see wife big; why does that make it a good thing? And so it may help with fertility - which it doesn't - but even if it DID help fertility in some world, why would that matter? What moral claim is there to make here? You've just told me how things are, or how they were; nothing about what you've said tells me if they're good or not.

And lastly, no one is acting like he's trying to render her immobile. According to OP, she does not like being fat. Even if she were 180 or 190, she wouldn't' like it; according to OP, even though she's only at the higher ends of 170, she's already complaining about her weight ("She mentioned again yesterday that she needed to lay off the ice cream because her shorts were feeling very tight"). This woman very clearly does not enjoy being overweight. OP also makes it explicitly clear that she has some personal problems with gaining weight.

I'm not being reductionistic. I'm aware it depends on the person. And it is very, very clear, that the person in question here - OP's wife - does not even want to be fat, and already has problems being chubby.

Honestly dude, you don't. You stfu and respect her desire to diet down because exactly as she said its the healthier thing to do. Keep the extreme sides of this fetish a fantasy and respect your wife. that is all

>>34711
No one's saying that her being at 170 is a problem dude, read the responses. Thighs are probably rubbing at that weight, and her belly's likely hanging just a little over her pants, but it's not so over-the-top, and there are likely so few health implications at that weight that it scarcely matters.

https://height-weight-chart.com/videos/heightweight_videos.html

The entire problem being discussed in this thread is the upper limit that he saw his wife achieve and wants to see her at again; 230. Look at the heights and weights in the list; while obviously fat accumulates differently on people, 170 is usually just a little above average. Look at the 5"7' 140lbs chick; her thighs are real thick, she has some arm fat, and her belly's soft, but she's only 140. Then look at the 180 chick, who doesn't look significantly larger than the 140 girl, but she's somehow 40 pounds heavier. Yeah, I'm with you pal; for most women, 170 isn't a big deal. But then again, no one said it was. It was always the 230lbs that the OP desired in his wife that was the problem.

And we have a perfect example for it on that website. Look at the 230lbs 5'7" girl. Thighs are massive meat rolls effortlessly smushed against one another, belly is out and would likely jut out and hang down if she were wearing jeans, arm fat is at the point of restricting flexibility in her arm movement, her face is chubby; and that doesn't even begin painting the picture of whatever may be happening behind the scenes for the girl, i.e. sleeping problems, health problems, breathing problems, and so on. Even if they're not major, even if they're only barely minor, they exist; they would not exist in such a capacity for the girl of average weight, or even the wife at 170 (assuming she's of normal health otherwise). As a side note, the woman in the 230lbs section is an amateur plus size model as well; most women this heavy don't carry their weight as well as she does. As an example, look at the 5'3" 213lbs girl, the 5'4" 185lbs girl, the 5'0" 207lbs girl, and a few others (can also check the height/weight images tab; what I linked is just videos). You can even see direct examples of the allegedly lighter women looking much fatter than the women who weigh more, such as the 5'4" 185lbs looking fatter than the 190lbs girl. I DO agree with you, 170lbs for a 5'7" woman is par for the course for most women. It's honestly better than what even an average person without a fat fetish would want in their girlfriend/wife.

But that isn't the problem here, is it? The whole problem is the 230. It obviously depends on the person, people accumulate fat differently on their bodies, and such fat accumulation often has different health results, too; went over this well in the previous paragraph. But to act like it's healthy is peak HAES-brain retardo-mode thinking. Gaining weight is unhealthy in general, beyond a healthy normal weight. There aren't bad health implications for most people of average, and even above-average weights, but when you're going beyond those, they begin; and going above 200 pounds - even for a somewhat tall woman at 5'7" - is going to be unhealthy for her health, and it'll only get unhealthier the more she gains weight.

And let's not fool ourselves, yeah? Because OP isn't, either.
>I don’t need or want to convince her to deliberately gain weight.
>I just want to be able to offer a hopefully compelling argument to her about not dieting again if it comes up and just letting nature take it course.
"Letting nature take its course"; what do you think that implies? Sure as shit isn't implying that she'll just stop at 230. And if a woman who's prone to overeating is going to "let nature take its course", I don't think rocket science is required to predict that that'll lead to weights well above 230.

>>34716
You’re an idiot. OP is a microdick loser whose wife doesn’t like him at all.
Next time marry a fat bitch.

Honestly OP should either shut the fuck up and leave his wife the hell alone or divorce if this is going to be such a huge problem. Sabotaging your partners diet and health plans is a super shitty thing to do. She has made it clear she's not into the fetish. Leave it the hell alone

>>34716

Got my own wife up to 5' 7" 330. She could do most shit, just maybe a little slower. 100lbs less than that, it just doesn't seem like all that much. Honestly, I'd be disappointed by 230. 5' 4" 320 is the only acceptable woman on that chart.

>>34719
>OP is a microdick loser for not immorally fattening up his wife
not everyone on the planet is as much of a reprobate as you are, nor is everyone on this board as much of a reprobate as you are

>>34731
You're telling me your 330 5'7" wife has absolutely zero health problems at her size? Just walks around perfectly fine, maybe a bit slower? No range of motion issues, no sleep apnea, no breathing problems, no issues with mild exercise or daily chores?

I don't even care to take your claim at face value and assume this is true for your wife's case; as I have repeatedly said throughout all my replies, these physical facts don't arise to a moral imperative. None of your replies have proven that he SHOULD fatten his wife, nor that he COULD fatten his wife and it would be a morally justifiable thing to do (or at least, a morally inconsequential thing), nor that he shouldn't stop her from "letting nature take its course". Frankly, if we were in a "state of nature", a husband should be rushing to help his wife lose weight, as that would be an awful impediment to their survival as a family. An appeal to nature makes no sense here (doesn't make sense either way, because it's a fallacy), and OP's bringing it up softly shows that the fat-addicted side of his brain is hijacking his reasoning.

If you can't prove that being fat is morally OK, that gluttony and hedonism are morally OK, that fattening your wife against her will is OK, then just stop pretending like you're being rational; you're not. I don't care if I'm moralfagging on a degen board, the facts are that this is a degenerate fetish, and if you're not willing to accept that, good! Great! Turn your life into a better one, help your fat hog wife lose weight and go on jogs, have a buncha kids and raise them into great men and women. Or, you can be one of those people who recognize your degeneracy, but do absolutely nothing about it, and let it just uneasily settle with you for the rest of your life. Either way, don't pretend like you're promoting some morally acceptable fetish, because you aren't. I get that everyone's moral paradigm nowadays is as deep as "do whatever you want so long as it doesn't hurt someone", but even in that retarded, toddler-level philosophical argument, this fetish fails because it's hurting someone; and especially in this case, where OP is being convinced to fatten his wife, it would hurt his wife. The ONLY moral principle holding this fetish up for a majority of you pretending that this fetish is morally ok, fails.

I swear, every conversation regarding fattening someone up unwillingly always turns into a moral debate. Never thought I'd be the guy instigating it, but honestly, enough with this HAES shit. Most of you guys claim you don't believe in any of that HAES hogwash, and yet half of you regurgitate the exact same infested pile of dogshit that its supporters do. Who are you fooling?

>>34738
Man married to an5’5” 350 pound woman here. Pieces not too hard, yeah chores are a thing. Helping her get off the sofa. Get a strong sofa. Def get a shower with a hand rail, extension shower head, and nice heavy flow drain (I can’t stress that last point enough. It’s not option number one but it will see some use of number two). Clean the rolls or face the stench of fold cheese. But otherwise their like most other women.

>>34742
I don't know if you're agreeing with me or not, but you *are* making my point; your wife isn't really "like most other women". Other women don't need to suffer doing basic things, they don't need a hand rail in their shower (at least, not until they're like 80 or something; and if they're fit and healthy, not even then), they don't need to have fucking FOLD CHEESE cleaned, they don't have to receive help getting off the sofa. And I don't even want to talk about the drain; I'm being reminded of fucking Fat Bastard from Austin Powers.

This is just the surface, though, because these outward actions and behaviours which have been forced to change, will also cause a change to the psyche and soul of the person that has been changed by them. Do you think a person just exists by doing these things, and that's that? Like, "welp, I just broke the sofa, lol" and gets up, never thinking about it again? Or she wakes up one morning smelling like a rotting carcass, wipes her hand between a fat fold, dragging off a night's worth of musty fat roll gunk, but just shrugs it off and goes about her day? I'm sorry, this doesn't happen.

We just look at them and think they're hot, and feel great about bagging the fat chick, but they are not thinking the same. Unless they also have the fetish, they don't think, "Welp, at least I'm hot" when they struggle to stand up. They don't think, "Ooohhh... quite pungenmt,, my dear..." when the reek of death reaches them as they wake up to their fat rolls bearing a thin lining of fold cheese. Fucking fold cheese. They don't recite Fat Bastard's script in that sumo shower scene when a steaming hot shit slides out their ass as they're showering or bathing. It's a waking fucking nightmare for them, one they're often times too lulled by gluttony, lust, addiction, or foolishness to wake up from.

Just because you don't see people complaining, does not mean they have no complaints; and even those who have no complaints about horrendous situations are often the way they are because they are, in some way, under the belief that they are benefitting from it. If you can tell me a single way in which these people are, for the sake of their betterment as a human being, benefitting from being +300lbs, I'll jam my leafcuck foot into my mouth and never respond again.

The hell is a heavy flow drain? Do you mean for the toilet or for the shower? I genuinely don't understand. Kind of afraid to ask but there it is...

>>34716
>>34738
>>34747
amen. well said, leafcuck
>>34748
the shower..

>>34748
6 in on, half dozen in the other.
I’m guessing you’ve never dated a woman approaching 400 pounds if you’re asking such naive questions.

>>34747
Dick cheese and vaginal cheese exist for skinny people. You’re acting like only fat people can have hygiene problems. Plenty of high maintenance skinny women are more useless than even partially disabled ssbbws.

>>34747

OP ignore the fat hater with a slob kink. He's projecting.

Most fat women have impeccable hygiene. They only need the time and resources to pamper themselves. That's where your support comes in.

You might reward her with a housekeeper for breaking 200lbs. That's part of keeping the weight fun. Fat privilege includes hiring out the jobs nobody wants to do anyways.

I think some of the resistance towards fattening, comes from a naive perspective on building a meaningful life. It's about the accumulation of high quality experiences, not maximizing days on the calendar. So if you fatten her by providing more of those special moments, you cumulatively improve her life. The positives outweigh the negatives. Her growth brings you together as a couple.

The pressure on you to support her weight loss, is a form of unrealistic idealization. It's no different than putting a woman on a pedestal, then bring upset when she falls from grace. You're a dude who likes fat chicks, among other traits. That's totally cool, a quirk of your overall package. Don't spend life miserably denying yourself, falling prey to societal fatphobia. Honor your full person.

>>34747
>Or she wakes up one morning smelling like a rotting carcass, wipes her hand between a fat fold, dragging off a night's worth of musty fat roll gunk, but just shrugs it off and goes about her day? I'm sorry, this doesn't happen.
>They don't think, "Ooohhh... quite pungenmt,, my dear..." when the reek of death reaches them as they wake up to their fat rolls bearing a thin lining of fold cheese. Fucking fold cheese. They don't recite Fat Bastard's script in that sumo shower scene when a steaming hot shit slides out their ass as they're showering or bathing. It's a waking fucking nightmare for them, one they're often times too lulled by gluttony, lust, addiction, or foolishness to wake up from.
can you stop projecting your slob fetish onto fat women please. christ, all you faggots acting like anyone over 300lbs is some disgusting beast straight out of a fetish fic is fucking embarrassing.

>>34747
Kill yourself Canuck. Good Lord this is just further your country should have been absorbed into the US long ago.

>>34755
It doesn't matter if "high maintenance skinny women" exist. I have no doubts they do. But a skinny woman with such problems is an irregularity, not the norm. Skinny women don't get fucking fold cheese or involuntary shower shits without having some kind of extraneous condition which causes such things to occur. A fat woman does. Thus a woman, when becoming fat, is having these irregularities introduced into her life. A fat woman is NORMALLY experiencing these things, as it is something that comes with obesity; a skinny woman does not have conditions that come with being skinny.

And we're not talking twig thin here, just to be clear. Go back to that height/weight chart I posted earlier, we're talking like a healthy weight. 5'2" 130-150, 5'4" 140-160, 5'6" 150-170, etc. Averages, basically. Some loons would probably argue these are above average, but I'm not interested in being a retard, the field's unfortunately full thanks to you guys.

>>34764
Second, slob kink? My brother in Christ, did you not read the guy I was responding to? He literally said his wife has fucking fold cheese and shits in the shower so often that he had to up-size the drain. She's not even as large as some other BBW models, and certainly not most SSBBW models. >>34742 right here, if you're too lazy to scroll.

Also,
>claims "Most fat women have impeccable hygiene"
Your justifications:
>They only need the time and resources to pamper themselves
(immediate concession that fat women are much worse resource sinks than thinner ones)
>That's where your support comes in.
(concedes that they only have "impeccable hygiene" because you pamper them and care for them)
>You might reward her with a housekeeper for breaking 200lbs
(even MORE concessions that the fat hog is a resource sink)

And then whatever that fucking nonsense is in the latter half of your reply. Total fucking inversion of reality. There is no meaningful life on the basis of obesity, there is no "accumulation of high quality experiences". EVEN IF these fat fetish indulging experiences were "high quality", a world's worth of such "high quality experiences" does not equate to something virtuous or good. You've proven nothing to be morally good in any sense, when that was the actual topic: that you retards stop pretending like this is a morally good thing.

The dripping irony of claiming that I have a "naive perspective on building a meaningful life", when all you've said is a bunch of man-made pseudo-intellectual dogshit that I'd expect to read coming from either a pink-haired lesbian's mouth, or a pedophilic french philosopher post-enlightenment. Unbelievably rich. "Honor your full person". Your retarded logic could be followed by anyone and anything. Would you say the same stupid shit if a necrophile stole a fresh corpse from the morgue and began fucking it? A serial killer carving hearts out of chests?

>>34779 , once again, I am directly quoting >>34742 . Seeing as you're the same person from earlier ( >>34148 ) who openly admitted to "[taking] the HAES and fat acceptance pill", I'm not looking to change your mind, because that likely won't ever happen. I'm just quoting you to point out that you're a fat retard who can't read. Maybe lose some weight, seeing as it's affecting your ability to read and reason.

Lastly, >>34786 , you don't know the half of it, buddy. Day of the rake can't come soon enough. By the way, here in Canada, we can't say "Kill yourself", that would get us thrown into jail. We have to say "M.A.I.D. yourself." Sorry, those are the rules.

>>34793
This post is a work of art. The cope in this thread is real.

>>34793
>Responding to every single reply with a paragraph

Waffleposter is by far the best troll active on this board right now, leagues ahead of Kisame and the fags who bait each other's country flags. I'll be reading through a seemingly intelligent and on-topic post, and then in the very last sentence he'll slip in a comment about shower drains and I'll crack up at the fact that he got me yet again. I feel sorry for the people who don't appreciate his art.

>>34793
Giant fatty here. Formerly not fat. I’m here to tell you that fat people take longer in the shower, mostly cuz there is more to clean. But this assumption that fat people have non-functioning bodies is malicious, idiotic, or since this is an FA board—self-flagellating.

can you retards stop replying to this moron

>>34808
If you had a non-functioning body, you would be dead. Thankfully, nobody is talking about non-functioning bodies, because that would be retarded. I'm referring to a less-functioning body in my responses, one which you most certainly have. "Giant fatty" is pretty unclear (300lbs? 250? 500?) but if you're breaking into 300 and shorter than 5'5", you're at least at the point where you're starting to have issues. Regardless of whether your body is functioning or not, however, your position doesn't answer the points raised.

I had two points, and only two:
1. Don't break her will ( >>34564 )
2. This is an explicitly immoral fetish ( >>34697 )
1. was never responded to, and left mostly in the dust (remember when this was about OP and his poor wife? lmao)
2. ended up being the primary point of discussion, but everyone's beating around the bush and avoiding answering it directly.

That said, the only objections raised against these points were that I am a self-flagellater, a malicious actor, an idiot, an over-exaggerator, and so on; but none of those responds to these two points. Frankly, the most accurate and reasonable objection I've received was that I am a Canadian. You're right. I'm so fucking sorry. I had no choice.

But ultimately, >>34387 was right. I came here to see if I could find a download for a fucking Hogwarts Legacy BBW mod. Instead I found out that half of you retards literally do not have even grade 1 level reading comprehension skills. How many replies in are we at this point? Not a single one even pretended to answer the actual criticisms.
If anyone has that mod, by the way, let me know, I'm still looking for it.

>>34793

Listen seal fucker, you've convinced me. I'm going to secretly train her instead. I'll start by moving the couch 10cm further from the kitchen each week. And I'll begin sneaking protein into her milkshakes.

Before she knows what happened, she'll be walking around looking like Ms. 5' 2" 160 from your goofy tiktok chart.

lol this is the best thread right now

the whole community got roasted and everyone stood and watched, where are the smartasses now?

>>34815
Nothing annoys me more than when retards like you cough up a half-assed rebuttal and, through your own hubris, assume that means the original posters points have been entirely refuted. Newsflash pal, just because you disagree and have made as much clear does not mean that you are correct, morally or otherwise.
Genuinely though, fuck off with your moronic moralizing, smug replies and cutesy little joke at the end there. You want a rebuttal? You want me to "pretend to respond" to your two weak, meaningless points with so little substance that you've been moving the goalposts constantly? Well here you go, you maple-chugging bastard.
1. I agree
2. A fetish is not inherently moral or immoral since you are born with it and cannot control it
Happy? If so, feel free to scurry back to Reddit where your smug style will be much more en vouge.

>>34872
>2. A fetish is not inherently moral or immoral since you are born with it and cannot control it
Wrong right off the bat. Lmao.

>>34873
Please enlight me as to why

>>34808
Obese man here, always been fat. I'm here to tell you that being fat fucking sucks in every way imaginable.
>FA board—self-flagellating.
What kind of sick fuck are you, faggot. --SeLf-FlAGeLlAtInG my ass

>>34872
First, it wasn't a cutesy little joke. I am genuinely still looking for the Hogwarts Legacy BBW mod. As in, I've actually given up, because I couldn't find it anywhere, but still do want to find it.

Second, I find it funny that you accuse me of moving goalposts, when I have repeatedly reiterated the problem in almost every response I've made:
>>34793
>EVEN IF these fat fetish indulging experiences were "high quality", a world's worth of such "high quality experiences" does not equate to something virtuous or good. You've proven nothing to be morally good in any sense
>>34747
Didn't make it here.
>>34738
>as I have repeatedly said throughout all my replies, these physical facts don't arise to a moral imperative
>>34716
>Wasn't the topic, topic was "what constitutes harmful obesity". Did not say it here.
>>34712
>Just as, thousands of years of history wherein chubby or fat women are venerated as fertility idols means literally nothing in terms of moral values.
>>34697
>Just because it IS the case that 170 is the average, does not - in ANY world - mean that he OUGHT to fatten her more.
>>34564
First thread reply from me, had nothing to do with the morality.

My goalpost has been steady practically the whole time: You cannot derive an ought from an is, and every responder has been conflating things like "being fat isn't that harmful", or "the sexual gratification is better than the cost", or "bitches like being fat", with conclusions such as "thus, it is okay for the bitch to be fat". I have repeatedly attacked that argument, consistently, throughout practically all of my responses. I know you Amerimutts literally cannot read more than a chapter in a book thicker than Green Eggs and Ham, but if you're trying to act like you have a "Gotcha!" in your pocket, you should be able to back it up with at least a smidgen of proof that you've read further back than just one reply.

Lastly, your response to my 2nd reeks of deterministic thought. To start with, a fetish isn't something you're born with; that is the exact same "point" regurgitated by pedophiles. You've made the incredibly rookie mistake of making a grand, blanketing claim, which only requires one exception in order to be disproven. Not only can I provide my own experience as an "exception" to your completely fabricated argument, but I can provide multiple websites that disprove your bullshit narrative. I'll just start with this one, though: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-accounts/

Which is a massive compilation of people getting rid of both porn addictions (mildly relevant) and some giving up fetishes (disproves your retarded rule).

And to add as a capstone of a rebuttal to your troglodytic Westernisms, you have free will. You can do this thing called "willing to do otherwise". And if you can will to NOT grab your cock and furiously whap it to a bitch who could suffocate you with her belly rolls, then I'm sure you could "control it", you fucking retard. And don't tell me you "don't agree that free will exists"; I will not only school you, because I am well versed in philosophy, but you also said - by your OWN words - that you "Agree" when I said, "Don't break her will", regarding the OP. If you think there is a "will" to be broken, then you are already taking "Free will" as an assumption in your argument.

Also, in response to your previous reply - >>34816 - I'll be honest, the 5' 2" buff chick has a great physique. However, 5' 3" 202 and 5' 6" 260 are the body types I prefer. That said, I wouldn't fatten any of them up, because I don't crave sexual stimulation/gratification in every fucking aspect of my life, so much so that I would actively harm/ruin the lives of those near me, just so my dick gets a little hard when I see them. There's more to life than a fetish, something you seem to have tragically forgotten.

>>34882
>wank wank wank you're bad for having a fetish even though i'm here on this fetish board with you
Skip ahead to the part where you tell us all to convert to Orthodoxy, this is getting really tiresome.

>>34872
>>34874
>>34882
Preference for fat women isn't a fetish.

>>34895

Try fucking a woman between the fat rolls, then reconsider. If you're posting on the bbwchan gen board - it's a fetish.

Life's easier once you accept the hard wiring and stop fighting to be something other.

>>34945
>Try fucking a woman between the fat rolls, then reconsider.
No thanks. What's your point? Normies fuck between breasts.
>Life's easier once you accept the hard wiring and stop fighting to be something other.
Again, what's your point? It being ""hard wired"" from birth is exactly the argument for it not being a fetish, retard. I have always had a strong preference for fat women. But a normal/chubby woman with a good booty and a pretty face gets my dick hard and heart racing too.

>>34947
Normies don’t feed women till they need to waffle stomp their shits because they’re too fat for the toilet

>>34947

Between the Snow Mexican peddling self hate, and the waffling troll, my fellow autists need a voice of reason.

There's nuance to this fetish. Figure out how to serve your own personal deviance. Sex goes from a racing heart to vibrating like a plug-in Hitachi on high. You can see God, plunged betwen a woman's folds.