I recently had a encounter with a beautiful girl, we hit it off well and had great conversations and made it back to my place and began to get intimate when my dick all of a sudden wouldn't cooperate. My brain was into it, and most of society would describe her as a 10/10, and I thought she was gorgeous too but she was quite thin compared to what I, and many of you, are used to. I just couldn't get it up. We were both a few drinks deep but nothing crazy, I was a bit nervous but nothing too bad, but I just couldn't do it. She was my first skinny girl in a long time, and I haven't had this issue with past chubby or fat partners. And she wasn't even that skinny too, had huge tits for her frame and a great ass as well. It was obviously a bit embarrassing and demoralizing even though she was cool about it, and I'm just wondering, is this something to be actually concerned about? Have I warped my brain with years of fat girl porn consumption, did I have too many drinks, is this just natural and I shouldn't worry?

Obviously none of you were there and don't know but any input or personal experiences would be appreciated.

image kinda her frame, maybe a bit bigger ass than the pic. Its just frustrating ultimately because while I deeply enjoy bigger women, I find it impractical and limiting to have such a narrow sexuality.

I'm old and so I'll bless you with my hard-won wisdom lol. You — meaning we — are who we are. I believe it's like being gay, at least in that way. You can worry about it and try to fight it but you'll just make yourself and your skinny partner unhappy. Be friends with cool skinny girls and go after the big ones romantically. Best for everyone involved.

>>20352 (OP)
>I find it impractical and limiting to have such a narrow sexuality.
That's exactly how the male brain works though, you like certain traits and if they are not present physical attraction isn't going to be possible.

> society would describe her as a 10/10,
Stop letting society and the media tell you what 10/10 is supposed to be and find out what *you* find a 10/10. Guess what buddy, the woman you couldn't get it up for? You don't actually find her attractive, your trying to force something that isn't there, and believe me, even if you did, you would not be happy. I've been there, and it's depressing as fuck.

>>20366

Maybe you're right. We got along quite well, so we agreed to just continue as pals. But I cant help but feel some shame about it. And I'd just gone on a date the day before with a proper fat girl and didn't get to sex but was turned on the whole time at the movie theater. This seems to indicate that the dick knows what it wants and to just lean into that.

>>20367

I'm a bit extra frustrated because I thought she was beautiful, and had a body that was clearly blessed by the Gods, but she wasn't a BBW and that dichotomy between my brain and my dick is just upsetting to be honest.

If your like me, you probably try separating romantic relationships and sexual relationships, eg. You'll pursue a romantic relationship with a girl your not that attracted to but like the idea of her and introduce her to friends and family then when that fails you pursue a relationship with a fat chick your actually attracted to but keep it secret. The problem you and myself have is we are scared of judgement from our close friends and family, we are scared to expose this part of our lives. My advice is face it, you know what you want and if you don't expose who you truely find attractive, you'll always feel guilty and if you don't pursue the chicks you are actually attracted to you'll always be unsatisfied.

>>20378

I used to do this, and still may internally feel this division. However, my last partner was fat and I had no problem showing her off to the world. We separated and where I'm at now is that I'm single again and trying things out. The more I ruminate on it however, I do think that it's best to just embrace being pretty much solely attracted to fatties and go with what both the heart and dick really want.

I wouldn't worry about it too much man. If I were you I would cut out all porn and then see how you do. Consuming a lot of porn strengthens the association between sexual pleasure and big women in your neuropathways, which makes it more difficult over time to find sexual stimulation in a regular way. It's like a drug, where you need more and more extreme (in our case bigger) content to get you off, and your brain physiologically adjusts to that, which narrows what you're interested in.

However, sexual desire is just like any other desire, it's plastic (neurologically speaking). What you want can change over time with experience and behavior modifications. In my own case, the women that I find sexually attractive when I'm single and consuming a ton of porn are fairly different from the ones that I'm into when I'm totally off of porn and only looking for women IRL. I'd never be able to date a really skinny woman, but I would be happy with a chubby woman. When I'm full coom brain, though, not really.

I think that it's okay to practice some restraint in this way and not see it as repressing your desires. For many other desires (greed, gluttony, and so on) if we obeyed them whenever we had them, we could consider that wrong and would recognize that the more that we indulge them, the more extreme they would get, which would be harmful. I think sexual desire, particularly in our case, is the same. It's not to say that we won't prefer larger women, but perhaps it won't be so extreme and selective.

It's not the same thing as trying to be straight when you're gay, it's just trying to keep your desires in the right gear. Not overstimulated, not overindulged, just a regular, normally functioning sexuality. Again, you'll probably always like larger women, but maybe you don't need them to gain tons of weight to have a happy relationship with them. Also, considering love and all of that makes a big difference to how your neuropathways develop.

If you want to read about this, the book "The brain that changes itself" has a chapter on people who get help for harmful fetishes and often have success using brain rewiring techniques.

Best of luck bro.

hijacking this thread to tell a tangientally-related story that happened to me very recently
>be me, 25
>on a lads holiday in shithole eastern euro city
>friend and I go to a strip club
>going in I knew it'd be a scam
>go anyway because I'm touch-starved and lonely as fuck
>go for "private dance" with thin, conventionally attractive 30-something slavic stripper
>she insists that I call her "mommy"
>still wonder whether she was into that, or if she just noticed how lonely I was and assumed I would be (I'm not)
>long story short:
>she gives me a lap dance
>we both get naked
>she tosses my salad a bit but I can't get an erection because she's too skinny (no, I didn't tell her that)
>she gets me blackout drunk and (figuratively) rapes my bank account
>I run naked into the men's room and projectile vomit everywhere as my equally naked friend is taking a piss
>have to pay €150 cleanup fee
>go back to private room with the girl
>tell her I just want to cuddle
>cuddle for a while
>go back to hotel and cry
bonus:
>friend looks up reviews of strip club a few days later
>mostly 1 star
>reviewers all say they got roofied, sodomized and robbed
>friend (who left after me and was much more sober) said he noticed on the way out that the girls were spending all our money on lootboxes for diablo immortal
>note: he is not a gamer at all and asked them what they were playing (and he didn't understand why the rest of us found it so funny), if that adds any credibility to this part of the story

legitimately considering going to therapy about this ngl

>>20352 (OP)
I’ve been in this situation before. I literally told them that I’m attracted to bigger women but that they are very beautiful and will do well out there.

I felt like it was helpful to 1) be honest, 2) have them actually hear more about how the world works 3) who knows, maybe she could hook you up with her hot friend lol

I don’t subscribe to the “separate out your romance from your sexuality” line. I tried it for a number of years and it was always shit. Once I decided I was looking for an amazing woman who was attractive by all my standards (non-physical AND physical), I had a series of amazing relationships.

>>20366
this man speaks truth, right here

>>20401
Agreed. Just have your sexuality and date people who are a fit. Everything else is destined to be a failure, tbh