I want to discuss an imaginary line : the line where your not-into-big-folk friends and relatives deem your partner as being so fat that feel they must stage intervention. Where they consider their weight so overpowering, so out of the ordinary that it breaks their polite silence, and they corner you into a frank discussion about it. Where they can't see your partner as anything but really, really fat.

I'm not talking about where they start to percieve your partner as fat but hold their tongue, and I'm not talking about if they make an obviously rehearsed comment if you bring up the subject first. I'm also excluding if something is mentioned behind your back, unless somebody approaches you, unprompted, with a "we've all been talking" type conversation.

Where do you feel that line is today in your social groups, and how has it moved in your lifetime?

I'm asking because, at 300 pounds, my wife hasn't hit that line yet. I find it a little bit odd that no well meaning soul has even so much as brought up her weight to me. I feel like if this was 25 or more years ago, at least one person would've pulled me aside and asked what was going on, if she had a gland problem or something, but it seems like 300 pounds is normal enough for a woman where they keep their opinions to themselves.

What are your feelings and experiences with this?

My wife is 275, and even in our comparatively skinny part of the US, nobody I know of has ever commented on it. My gut feeling about how the social aspects would play out is that people would start to bring her weight up if she had visible mobility issues or other comorbidities, and on her height and build I'm guessing those wouldn't hit until she was past 400.

When your girlfriend weighs 200lbs, no one bats an eye.
When she weighs 300lbs, everyone loses their minds.
We live in Ireland a society.

I’m a 450lb woman and NO ONE has ever said anything to me or to any of my partners about my weight, even when I’ve gained a significant amount of it in a relationship so I would have to guess that line is probably 500+.

>>12551

That one is surprising to me. I thought for sure that 400lbs would get some kind of "we're just concerned about her health" type response at least. Maybe it depends on how healthy you seem to be otherwise?

I'm sure that allot of it is cultural too, even within the USA. For example, in the urban northeast where people are (relatively) thinner and more confrontational, maybe the line is lower than in the rural south, where people tend to be heavier and non-confrontational?

>>12577
I guess it largely depends on your surroundings and social circles. All of my friends or partners 350lbs or above have either known close friends who got WLS, or have been pressured/pestered into considering it. There have been a few people barely at 300 that got it too. It seems almost commonplace where I am (Northeast US).

I’m from boston lmao

I’m also into the humiliation part of this kink too so it’s something that would have come up if it had come up

>>12588
Young or older? Younger girls tend to get more concerned people because they "are worried about their future". Older, they know you know what you're doing. You lived this long, you know what you're in for.

>>12590
I’m 23

>>12591
And no one has sat you down to tell you "how concerned" they are?

Well damn, you got a license to go hog.

>>12520 (OP)
The society we live in is pretty fragmented and isn't as communal as it was in the past. Back then if you were fat (not even super obese or anything) people would talk because you'd be part of a smaller community or group, nowadays no one really cares (for good or for worse) what you do as long as you aren't actively bothering them. At least metro parts of the US people won't go out of their way to interact with you unless they need something or you are bothering them.

>>12551
I second this. Everyone thinks America is like high school, where everyone talks behind each other's back or is super catty, but I only have exprienced that at work (with hordes of other intrapersonal problems, naturally).

Truthfully, in America where everything is spacious and we lack communal meeting areas or can even walk most places for transport, we sometimes lack the community for anyone to be bitchly little shits about others. And to be frank- I couldn't give less of a fuck about what people think about me. I'm a solid 7/10 dude and my ass is fat, ain't nobody gonna badmouth my girl when I look like a megadeth album cover.

>>12848
We're pretty self absorbed in the US and as such don't really care about most other people's dealings. Aside from maybe one stray thought or comment people really don't care. Its only when you start being a nuisance or annoying that people start getting pissed off. I think in the past social shaming was stronger due to communities being smaller and tighter, but nowadays its like who cares anymore as long as they aren't part of my immediate family/friends group. Even in highschool (well at least my highschool back when i was in it around the mid 2010s). No one would really mess with you unless went out of your way to be really annoying.

interesting to see the responses.

my girlfriend is 250lbs (41-42 BMI) and she gets tons of comments from her family (and her doctor) in her country. The older people in my family would also comment to me on how obese she is. But that is eastern europe i guess.

I think 300lbs would probably be the line for my parents to make some sort of comment expressing concern for my wife. They're pretty fat phobic and also don't have a great grip on boundaries. In terms of friends, I feel like 400lbs nobody would say anything except maybe my best friend who knows my preferences but also is a doctor and cares about health stuff. The rest of my friends probably wouldn't actually show concern unless it got really significant, like mobility issues and whatnot.

I do sometimes get turned on by the idea of having a partner so obese that people around us think it's fucked up and get uncomfortable. Like, obscenely abnormal levels of obesity and me looking like a normal reasonably attractive put together guy pretending like nothing is wrong.