Your skeleton friend needs an opinion lads

So I met one gal off of WooPlus that i've been dating for several months now, and while she's a great friend and is really fun to spend money on, I don't love her and I doubt new feelings are just gonna appear one day. I know I gotta "end" the option for a future romantic relationship and I plan on doing it after the new years, but like... have ya'll ever ended a relationship and still wanted to be friends with them after?

This sucks >:(

Hey Skellybro.

>I don't love her and I doubt new feelings are just gonna appear one day

It's going to hurt, but if you're sure about this, then you already know what you have to do. The alternative (stay together and fake it) will be a lot more painful in the long run.

Among other /gen/ personas, I'm the middle aged guy who's always complaining about his unhappy marriage and dead bedroom. I won't rehash my whole story because I'm sure people are sick of hearing it, but my tl;dr is that because my wife and I were already engaged (and then married), I talked myself out of listening to my gut feeling that things were going badly wrong. I told myself that my unhappiness and disappointment actually proved what a good person I was for toughing things out where a lesser man would have broken his vows. By the time I snapped out of it and realized how foolish I was being, we had a kid together and there was no turning back. So I guess what I'm saying is, if you've thought about it for a while and you know you don't love her, then trust your gut and don't look back. The alternative is spending an obscene amount of money on couples therapy.

^^^^ 100% what this guy said. Get out now before it’s too late. It sucks by all means but that’s what life, and a relationship are about. The sadness and the lows make us appreciate the highs that much more.

-PL

>>12113

Hey Yeezy. I know in the Feabie thread you posted
>Real recognize real. If you're a kind, reliable guy, look for a kind, reliable woman.
and that is literally my bitch right now lmao. But I know it's for the best, because while it's a great sign if someone is understanding about nearly everything I can also see the signs of someone who doesn't have many friends. I don't think she does at all, and I have to fight against my tendency to "If you have no friends, YOU HAVE MINE NOW" attitude. I'll figure it out, hopefully after this she doesn't loose faith in herself

Also I have to complain about this to someone- she sweats a fucking ton. Now she's an SSBBW and likely ~400 so I expect it, but she also has like a step above Hank Hill ass, so if I'm behind her and we've been hard at it for a bit trying to keep hold isn't feasible. Like I've HEARD of someone sliding off their girl, but never legitimately!

I would also say, as a married dad, there are different qualities for a GF and a Wife. A girl that makes a good GF, might not always make a good wife, and vice versa. My now wife was kind of awkward when I met her in ways that previous GF's weren't, I usually went out with skinny, outgoing girls, and now I was being honest with my taste for bigger girls and dating a beautiful, shy, fat girl. It took some adjusting, and I still don't feel a "spark" when we kiss like I have with previous GF's, but sexually we are a really good match(when I can get it that is) and she's a really good wife outside of spending too much money on stupid stuff, but that's pretty common. She's still kind of the socially awkward, nerdy girl that I met, and at times I wish she was more bubbly and outgoing, but maybe I'd be annoyed with that as a wife, who can say? All that I know is that when I first talked to her I thought "That's my wife, that's the one." Maybe my long term relationship wasn't supposed to be a wild, spark filled ride, maybe that would have ended in divorce. I think a lot of people in modern times have an expectation of romance/relationships based off of movies, most couples aren't Morticia and Gomez the whole time, it's just about as realistic as an action movie. If you look at really long term married couples, they have a quiet steady love, a jog or a walk love, not a sprinting love, most people aren't built to maintain a sprinting love. Do your best to keep the friendship, but all of my GF's got me closer to my wife, it took time for me to be able to articulate what I wanted and sometimes to discover that what I thought I wanted wasn't what I wanted at all.

>>12113
I'm sorry about your relationship bro, I also don't get much action(despite wanting it badly almost all the time) but it's mostly because our oldest kid drives her up the wall all day so she's exhausted by the time we get a chance to spend time together. As much as I understand it, it kinda hurts my feelings because from my perspective she's got a pretty sweet deal, she gets to be fat, eat whatever she wants, wear whatever she wants and a conventionally attractive guy is ready and willing to knock her socks off. I don't plan on cheating or divorce, but I won't pretend it doesn't hurt my feelings even ifi get that it's not that she's not in not sex with me, it's that our kids are fucking up my sex life. Maybe we should start a married guy thread just to bitch?

>hopefully after this she doesn't lose faith in herself

This might be the hardest part of having this kink for me. I'm not some megabucks superchad, but as average dudes go, I'm a solidly desirable partner -- decent looks, good conversationalist, steady white collar job and interesting hobbies, and I'm not closeted about being an FA. In real life, guys like me are pretty rare. I always felt like if I were a normie it would be a lot easier to let a girl go without any guilt, knowing that as a conventionally attractive woman she could easily find another boyfriend. But it's painful to have to give the "I'm not feeling this" talk to a sweet, lonely SSBBW who's thrilled that a decent guy is finally showing interest in her. I never liked casual sex and was always dating with an eye towards finding a permanent partner, so it was hard not to feel like I had done something "wrong" by getting a woman's hopes up.

But if it's any consolation, 10-15 years later, that turned out not to be true, most of the time. Most although not all of my exes have paired off with guys who were a much better fit for them than I was. I'm in a big city, though, so it might be different in your neck of the woods. This post in the dating thread is solid >>12216 (Cross-thread), I just wish I had recognized that its wisdom still applies even after you put a ring on it. Relationships end, that's life in samsara.

>she sweats a fucking ton

Been there too, lol. I think this must be partly a genetic thing. The heaviest woman I ever dated was 500 pounds and she didn't sweat any more than the average person (she just had a lot more surface area to do it with), but then I dated a 315 pound girl who'd be gushing like a fire hydrant after the slightest bit of exertion.

>>12192

I hear you bro. Our dead bedroom was a problem even before kids (long story), but parenthood is fuckin' exhausting for both of us and it put the final nail in the coffin.

Bump -- did you end up breaking up? Hope things worked out for you.

>>12256
Man, I can relate to this a lot. Two years ago, I was dating an SSBBW who was pretty much perfect looks-wise. But she had a lot of issues and I felt I had to break it off (though I'll admit my family pressured me into it too). I broke her heart in the process. I've felt very guilty about it ever since.

But I just found out that she has a new boyfriend, and you know what? I'm genuinely happy for her and I hope he treats her better than I did. In a weird way, I feel like a weight (no pun intended) has been lifted off my shoulders.

I had been feeling sorry for myself because I didn't think I'd ever meet someone like her again, but I realise now that she probably felt the same about me (I say "felt" in the past tense because she's clearly moved on). She deserves someone who'll love her for who she is, not just because she's a feeder's wet dream.

This probably sounds melodramatic, but I feel like now I can finally close the book on that part of my life.

>>13869
Hey yeezy, it all "ended" kind of perfectly.

That night I took her out for a big round of more "firsts" for her but told her that night when I took her home. Her reaction went from "oh god what's he gonna tell me" to laughing, and her explaining to me that nobody ever fell in love over several weeks and she didn't love me yet either lmao. I've literally never had a close romantic relationship before, so she- currently as a FWB- has honestly been perfect. We keep hanging out and sending shitposts to each other, and she's currently helping me get ideas for my garden for the next year. I hope to teach her how to ride bikes and drive soon, now that she's finished her first degree.

>>13877
I was worried about the former part heavily too, but yeah, it's what you gotta do when you know. Glad to hear that she's doing okay- and that you have such a positive outlook on it, man.
>not just because she's a feeder's wet dream.
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