Some background: I have been fit and lean my entire life - I've always been somewhat on the skinny side (currently 6'2", 145 lbs), played every sport imaginable throughout my childhood and adolescence, and currently run track at university. I've also always been attracted to larger women.

I recently broke up with a girl whom I had been dating since high school, the principle cause of this being the fact that I couldn't have sex with her, which, among other things, I attribute to this attraction. Before we broke up, she said that she thought I have an eating disorder. There is some truth to this: I have never had a huge appetite, but in my teenage years I started eating less and less and obsessing more over being as lean as possible. I lost around 5 lbs when I started university and, with my build, it showed. She mentioned this in relation to my attraction to fat girls. (a relation she thought was very strange indeed) I never explicitly told her about this, (especially because she herself is not fat, but has similar body-image issues) but it came to light after I grabbed her stomach one time too many while making out.

I'm currently on winter break, and I've had time to think about this. What is it that attracts me to fat women? Is it invariably tied to my own body-image issues? If I fear being fat so much, why am I filled with carnal rage every time I see the sinuous outline of pudge tucked tightly into Luluemon pants?

Will I ever be able to get over this, and win back the love of my life, to the crooning of a John Carpenter-esque soundtrack?

Has anyone here had similar experiences with body dysmorphia or disordered eating and feedism?

My anecdotal impression as someone who's been hanging around online feedist communities since the 1990s is that a lot of FFAs are attracted to big men while themselves having a restrictive eating disorder. Forget where I read this, but apparently it's actually a not uncommon symptom of anorexia to do a lot of cooking for other people while starving yourself.

Never thought about this dynamic in a male FA / female feedee context, but it makes sense that it'd be possible there too.

I think there's some truth in this. I grew up in a Catholic household with high expectations of control and was always overly critical of my own weight. I've generally flictuated between 150 and 180, so not as thin as you but always self judging.

It's not a coincidence that I immediately get turned on by very fat women with no inhibitions. Women who eat what they want without caring about their weight, don't mind letting out a hearty burp in front of their friends or family after indulging, who live without the nagging self control that rules me. It's an "opposites attract" kind of thing.

for me i try to be as lean as possible because it gives me extra boners to see how much fatter she is then me

i love comparisons and when im 100 ponds instead of 250 its the difference between my bitch being 5 times bigger than me vs 2 times so way more boners at 100

>>12081
oh and other things is i need her FAT FAT FAT no boners here unless she 450+ or at the very very minimum at least 400 if she 400 then she 4 times bigger than me but i need some wiggle room too i prefer 500 but less than 400 means less than 4x me which is NO NO NO *pukes violantly*

I agree, I think there's some sort of link. I had what I'd consider a mild eating disorder off and on in adolescence, and I've always been into fat girls. The link is probably something like what >>12080 said.

Just like >>12071 (OP), I've also seen a few female feeders on Feabie who are recovering from eating disorders. Obviously this is all anecdotal, and you'd need a study to confirm it.

I don't think you'll ever be able to "get over" being attracted to fat girls (there have been plenty of other posts about this). Cutting out porn and cooming might allow you to have sex with thin girls, but the fetish is always going to be there.

My eating disorder went away when I got into lifting and wanted to bulk up, but that was really just shifting from one type of body image issue to another. I'll probably have body image issue for the rest of my life, just like I'm going to have a fat fetish for the rest of my life. I have no interest in going to therapy, but if you're anorexic it might be a good idea. That shit sucks, and it's bad for your health.

Lol, this is me, always a skinny beanpole, with a dad that would constantly point out fat people(but mostly women) and how disgusting their lack of control was. I have a "dad bod", but it bums me out, still not comfortable with it. Fat girls on the other hand, obvs, very big fan, I've often thought that part of my kink is "punishing" fat women with my dick, like the wires got crossed and disgust turned to infatuation. My fat wife likes being "punished" and teased for being fat, so it has a happy ending.

one of my exes was anorexic her entire life, even had a semi-famous thinspo tumblr blog

after we dated for a while she said the more she thought about my kink, the hotter it sounded to her

within months she was doing fat talk in bed with me, getting turned on by me telling her how i can't wait to have to tie her shoes for her, and her genuinely responding, "i can't believe how into this i am... what have you done to me????" and even saying completely outside of sex, "i wish you were more aggressive in fattening me up"

a lot of fetishes come from trauma and things that feel "wrong"

maybe deep inside what makes you see all the beauty and hotness of bbw is a hidden core of disgust

>>12106
did she ever actually gain weight? or was she still thin by the time you broke up

the mind is a strange thing especially when it comes to desire

things have a tendency in the mind to become their opposite if you push them far enough maybe

when i was young i was chunky but hit puberty and lost the weight, i gained an attraction for fat women at the same time though, nice bit of irony


but i think beauty is always there, but you have to have the right mindset to perceive it, something to nudge you a little out of the overton window of conventional beauty

>>12108
yeah she got up to 180 at 5'4" from 130 (had been recovering when i met her)

she would talk about "when i'm 220" so nonchalantly and matter of fact. it was mindblowing