>>13101I've always been awful at trying to guess weights, but I can tell you she's not particularly huge. Think CouchQueen but with small boobs and thinner legs, then you can come up with a fair estimate lol
For those of you who don't believe a word of these stories, that's completely fair. Obviously there's no way I can prove they're true, so the best I can do is keep em coming. So here's another one.
I believe my wife and I were engaged at this point. Her family was planning a trip to the Twin Cities in Minnesota, hit up the Mall of America, and they were going to bring me along. Sweet. When we got there, after a night in our hotel, we went straight to the MoA. After a few hours of walking around and shopping, we all started getting hungry, so we wandered up to Bubba Gump Shrimp. My wife sat next to me and her mom sat across from me. We ordered our food (pretty good sized portions) and once everything arrived, my MIL says "Remember everybody, I don't want any leftovers! I'm not gonna carry any takeout boxes around the mall for another three hours."
So the eating began. I polished off my meal with no difficulty, as did my wife's mom. My father-in-law steadily worked through his, and my wife was still slowly making her way along, but her brothers (both a couple skinny bastards) had given up less than halfway through their meals. My MIL looked over to me and noticed that I had finished my meal. She reached over to one of my wife's brothers and slid their plate in front of me.
"Well anon, you better keep eating."
I slid the other brother's plate in front of her. "I'll keep eating if you do."
"But I'm already getting full!" She leaned back and gestured to her stomach. She definitely still had room.
"So am I!" I said as I gestured to my own stomach. (I lied.)
And so, with mock frustration on her part, both of the boys' plates were cleaned in fairly little time. She once again leaned back and rested both hands atop her belly. At this point my wife threw in the towel on finishing her meal (she was quite thin back then) and slid her plate in the direction of me and her mom. My mother-in-law looked at me, then at the plate. She silently slid the plate in front of me. As I looked down at the plate, I had an idea. Without a word, I divided the food on the plate into 2 piles, then slid the plate between me and her. She let out a very heavy sigh, but looked at me with a smirk on her face and kept on eating.
On our way out of the restaurant, she rubbed her stomach and joked that I might have to roll her through the rest of the mall (which I eagerly agreed to do, if she should need it.)
Fast forward about 40 minutes and I met back up with the rest of the group, carrying with me a big box of those frosting-cookie-sandwich things (professional fatass over here.) When I wandered up to the group, my MIL was arguing with her youngest son (about 10 at this point) about something trivial like his tone or his choice of words, you know, typical mom stuff. I decided to press my luck.
I strolled over to her, pulled out the biggest cookie sandwich from the box, and held it under her nose.
"I think you need one of these." I said.
There was a pause, in which she looked at me, first slightly annoyed, but she quickly seemed amused that a smart-ass like me had found her weakness. She grinned and took the cookie. After a big bite she told me "You know, I really didn't need any more to eat."
"I'm pretty sure you did." My wife agreed.
"I just want you to know that THIS is all your fault." She said jokingly, sinking a finger into her pudgy middle and waggling her cookie in my general direction, before tossing the rest into her mouth.
"What? You're the one who said you didn't want to carry leftovers around!" I reminded her with a laugh.
She shook her belly with both hands. "Yeah, but I'm still carrying them, aren't I?"